The "Dam"

Ok I have to take you back to last week...sayyyy wednesday 28th Sept. Cos this is where it all really started.

Sash woke up in the morning feeling a bit poorly and didnt want to go to school. Of course the minute Daniel clocked that she may get to stay home...he too began complaining that he wasnt well either. Although nothing was said to Sash, she figured it was wiser to just go to school, which was admirable cos she obviosly wasnt well.

She called from school about 2 hours later asking to be fetched which we duely did. She went to bed and got on with getting better. When Dan came home from school he started getting a temp... which meant that he was coming down with something too.

I started to panic a bit, the reason being that in the 2 years we have been living in manchester, my kids would be spending the weekend at my cousins house for the first time ever! As I was taking Barry to Amsterdam for his 40th birthday. The last thing I needed was for their very first sleepover there for them to be ill. Not only that but for us not to even be in the same country was a tad worrying. And like all mothers...the guilt set in big time. I didnt wanna lumber my sick kids on someone else but it was too late to cancel the trip either.

Took them to the doc on thursday morning who said that they had a virus which would need to work its way out of their systems without treatments. CHIT! Spoke to jane who very kindly pointed out to me that she is in fact familiar with dealing with sick kids as she has 3 of her own, and that everything would be ok. PHEW!

Friday morning, 7am, Jane calls, her youngest has had a raging temp all night and wouldnt be going to school, this meant, not only would she have 3 kids out of 5 ill, but it also meant that things needed to be re-arranged as far as my kids getting to her house after school was concerned. I won't bore u with the details suffice to say that a few phone calls sorted that out.

Kids off to school, everything sorted, now to get packed and ready for our weekend of debauchery...hehe

Go to get the tickets and passports ready......

N.O. F.R.I.G.G.I.N. P.A.S.S.P.O.R.T.S.!.!.!.!.!.!.

Where are they? they were there! where? There in that cupboard! I swear I had seen them there a gazzilion times!! Now they were nowhere to be seen. We turned the house upside down and inside out. The garage too. They must have been stolen! How? When? Barry having a go at me for not checkin earlier...like...LAST WEEK! Me trying to keep a cool head with only an hour left before we would need to leave the house. We hadnt even packed yet...but then....it didnt look like we were going anyway! The taxi was due at midday... at 11:20am Barry found them underneath....UNDERFUCKINNEATH the very same cupboard that I had seen them in. Obviously when he moved the cupboard, they had fallen out and under.

I burst into tears of relief!

We flew around the house throwing things in bags, dressing and getting bits sorted. Flew out the house and got to the airport on time.

So began our journey....

The flight was all of 50mins, amazing. We chatted to a couple next to us on the plane who were also celebrating the hubbys birthday (30th). As we were preparing to land, seat belt lights went on, and Barry started coughing, and he couldnt stop, people were all looking concerned that he was splutttering the eboli virus or something into the air. I called a steward to ask for some water for him, he gave me a bottle and asked wot the matter was, I said he had had a bit of flu and he had something caught in his throat. I swear people, his face at that moment could have been like the in flight movie! I saw flashes of all those movies where airborne deadly diseases were transported on planes flash through his eyes..."oh" he said...dissapearing into the back and returning with some paper napkins... "can u ask him to cough into these" he said, handing them to me. teehee.

Anyhoo we land in Amsterdam, fondly referred to from now on as "the Dam!" Make our way onto a...get this peeps...DOUBLE DECKER TRAIN! kewl! It was soooo quiet compared to the english transport. We found our way to our hotel where I had pre arranged some chocolate cake, balloons and wine to be provided in our room...which will fondly be referred to from now on as our "widdle IKEA cupboard" All very minimalistic and white. Seriously, you had to do the tango with each other to get to the window. Which we didnt mind doing, as , well, we kinda did a LOT of tango'ing...nudge nudge wink wink...say no more.

Anyhoo, our first port of call was a candlelight cruise on the canals of "the Dam" which, of course, wouldnt have been the same had I not totally wiped out on all fours in the middle of the busiest street in the whole of Amsterdam! Practically throwin myself into the boat whilst breaking 2 of my newly done nails...and that was BEFORE I had anything to drink, smoke or wotever!

We had cheese and wine on the boat, chatted to the only other english couple on the cruise, amazing how birds of a feather ..blah..blah. It was special, and enjoyable. But for any of u who know my husband...there was only one place he really wanted to be...besides between my legs of course...and that was at a "coffee shop or pub the Dam style!"

So our cruise ended, and we went for a walk, and lo and behold we found a jamaican pub where "white widow" was on the menu. Yup, we bought a bag, sampling the joys of just hangin out and smoking a doob, a very enlightening experience to say the least..lol.

We found a place that was still serving food and we had them whip up a smashing meal of spare ribs, which we had the pleasure of sharing with a gorgeous kitten who played with the bones we offered her. The owner most apologetic but we insisted that the kitten was cheap entertainment for us, so he left us to it.

The following morning, we decided to make our way to the Ann Franks museum and then after that the Van Gogh...not realising that the 2 were miles away from each other. But it was cool, we got an interesting perspective of "the dam". The cuew? que? quew? cue?..well u know wot i mean... for ann franks was huge..so we decided to rather make a spliff and have a coffee instead. We chilled there, watching the world go by on bicycles, fascinating at how the kids were so adapted to this environment, standing on the backs of their mom or dads bike, or sitting, or sitting on the handle bars, or in a little chair in the front...some had 2 kids, one in front and one in back. Completely at ease and trusting of their safety.

We then made our way to Van Goghs, walking all the way, stopped for a sushi along the way, and then on to the museum. Did the tour and caught a tram back to the hotel. Went to a little shop round the corner from our hotel and bought some magic shrooms. Back to our widdle ikea cupboard and ate them shrooms. gawd did we giggle!
That was fun!

That evening we went off to see the red light district as its meant to be seen, on a saturday night. So many people, so many men! So much testosterone! So many offers of cocaine! (none taken I might add) The women of the night baring their scantlily clad ass&t's, beckoning you to their door. Even both of us was on offer!. It was world within a small street. A night life like nothing we have ever been exposed to in our lives. And yet, a strange yet inviting acceptance of what is. We found a coffee bar where we had some hot chocolate and a bag of "bubblegum doob" We wanted to see a live sex show, but they were hellishly expensive and we were pleasantly surprised to find, on our return, porn channels freely available on the telly in our widdle ikea cupboard...so we kinda had a private show for free...hehe.

The following day was our last day and we just cruised some of the areas we hadn't seen, went back for a second time to a sandwich shop called illys, which made THE best roast beef sarnie ever!

Back to the station, back to the airport, back to manchester, back to life, back to reality!

If there is one thing I have learned from this trip people, its this.... make time for you and your partner on a regular basis! Take time out from ur children! Go on short breaks with just the 2 of you! It makes the WORLD of difference! I know thats 3 things but it all adds up to the same thing. We waited 13 years to do this...I wish we had done so sooner...cos we rediscovered why the hell we chose to be together in the first place!

So....Happy 40th birthday "ol'man" I love u ..now and forever.