GROOVY BANANAS!

New pics...

2007-01-04T00:36:00.000Z

Hey all, I have posted some new yummy nail pics over on F.U.N.C. by all means... check em out...been having a blast with glitters... Im a sparkly girl after all...teehee

U can always check back by clicking the link called...F.U.N.C. ;-)

And peace shall come...

2007-01-04T00:33:00.000Z

when my son my king sleeps....

Culinary Delight..take 2...

2007-01-04T00:28:00.000Z

Sash made this delectable lunch for me today... believe it or not... she make the potatoe latkes... herself... from scratch!

Oy! vot a dish! (said with yiddish accent)

Virgins...

2007-01-02T22:08:00.000Z

An advert for Virgin credit cards comes on the telly, Danny proclaims
" I hate virgins! Are you a virgin mom?"
I say,
"do you know wot a virgin is?
" He says "yes! its a star sign! I dont get along with them, but my best mates are librarians and germanys"
"well I'm a capricorn but your dad is a Libra" Say I to which he responds...

"good! then dad is my best mate, too bad ur a crappycorn!" (He did that one on purpose!)

Chrismukkah...better than Chantmas!

2006-12-26T23:43:00.000Z

You know when so much has happened in a short period of time that you just dont know where to even begin!???

Such has been my life the past few weeks... predominantly business based, but unfortunately overflowing into my personal life to such a degree that...christmas/ channukah has been and gone and not a decoration nor gift has been purchased for anyone...including my darling children.

Its a hard one... Neither babewotIlovesomuch nor I grew up celebrating either festivity, but there is tremendous pressure amongst the jews here to celebrate channukah by giving the children gifts.

In past years we have given gifts at this time of the year, I enjoyed it. However I guess we set a precident and the kids were dissapointed that they did not get anything this year. Although I explained the reasons why... it still hasnt seemed to sink in and ...ok...I feel guilty! There I said it! I. FEEL. GUILTY!...!!! (for extra emphasis)

I have heard things like: "I will be the ONLY kid who didnt get any presents!" and "EVERYONE is getting a present and its not fair!" So this is where it gets a bit fuzzy. Do I get them a present, even tho there are more pressing issues to deal with, so that they dont feel "left out" "deprived" wotever! Or do I stick to my original, albeit selfish choice, to channel that money into a more productive future ultimately ...for them?

I could do with a brew! (thanks to cherryflava for the link)

My creepy roommate...

2006-11-16T00:00:00.000Z

Everyone has asked me if I shared a room
whilst in Belgium last week... my answer has been... no...but I did have to put up with a very creepy looking woman!

Oh? say they...so you DID share a room then?

No! I had this huge painting of a woman, much like the Mona Lisa, who's eyes would follow you where ever u went.

It got to the point that although alone, I would close the loo door cos she was starin at me! So on my second night I resorted to putting a towel over her just so I could relax! Problem was the cleaner clearly didnt find it amusing and kept taking the damn towel off!! This became my evening ritual during my stay... "for fucks sake! do they not get a hint??! now I have to friggin put the towel over her again...creepy woman!.... sorry pal...you freak me out!"

It's Official...

2006-11-13T22:43:00.000Z

Last week I made the dreaded trip to Belgium in order to complete my training to become a trainer in Gel Nail Enhancements and become an authorised distributor in the Professionails brand of products.

I was under the impression that it was merely a formality but soon found out on arrival in Belgium by the president of the company that not all 20 of us, who had travelled from all over europe, would be leaving with a diploma entitleing us to teach and distribute their brand of products and services.

No pressure! pfft!

Although I have been working with these products for a good 5 and a half years, I found myself going back to basics with much of the training we recieved. I impressed myself a lot of the time with my knowledge of most of the product line and with the application processes. Its a lot like learning to drive a car really...in that... when u first learn to drive, you do everything exactly as u would need to for ur driving test, but then after years of driving, you find that it becomes so automatic that you dont even have to think about it anymore and you develop bad habits. This isnt a problem in the day to day process....but when you start teaching someone else to drive, you have to go back to the way you were taught originally in order to be effective as a teacher.

I found this last week an invaluable tool in becomming a skilled and educated trainer which will hopefully result in skilled and educated students. The secret to success in my eyes, is to share the knowledge and skills that I have with those willing to learn. My success will be measured by their success.

I was one of a select few who graduated with a diploma on their first visit to Belgium, many of them having returned for their 2nd or 3rd visit. I was the only uk representative of 3 who acheived this. So I am pretty darn chuffed.

But there is more to this story than me tooting my own trumpet... I went on a small journey of self discovery whilst there. This involved many aspects, the first being in the company of people who shared my passion for doing nails, for the products, and who could be considered to be the best in the business. The amazing energy that a group of likeminded people can create is nothing short of wonderous!

I also found a side of myself which apparently, I keep stashed away for special occassions such as these, a side I found to be rather appealing. I realised that I dont keep it stashed away, its a side that many people see on a daily basis, but that I choose not to acknowledge for some strange reason. Perhaps its a fear thing, that if I embrace this rather bubbly vivacious side of me that people would not accept who I am? I realised on this week away...that not only would they embrace this side of me, but they would infact migrate toward me and accept without condition that this...is who I am.

I was acutely aware that there were groups of us from many different countries and cultures and the natural pull would be birds of a feather... I thought about this and made a conscious choice to bridge the language and cultures barrier between each group. I refused to follow my natural instinct to follow the "pack" culture and stick to the uk group...instead I flitted from group to group like a little social butterfly. I found nothing but love and acceptance at every port.

The result, which may be even more meaningfull than the diploma I set off for, was connecting with a group of incredible, amazing souls who treated me no less than their equals. I do believe that in some instances, friendships were borne this last week in Belgium that may even last a lifetime.

Thanks in advance to Esther of Holland for these pics....(who also happened to be one of our mentors and a cracking nail artist!...not to mention...an awesome chick!)

The training... spot the red chick...aka...Moi!

(Note: red = CERTIFICATE OF ATTENDANCE.... YELLOW = DIPLOMA.)
me riiiight @ the back in the corner.

Although all the girls were amazing and I bonded with each one of a different and meaningful level...the following two....will always have an extra special place in my heart....Elke sat by my side throughout the training course... and we bonded not only as friends but as a team...we were like a well oiled machine! And Camilla, I dunno... something just....clicked! Awesome energy! Amazing chick!

Now I remember...

2006-10-10T16:56:00.000Z

Stumbled on this article courtesy of news24 .com, which had me floored at the utter arrogant idiocy with which these people operate.

Johannesburg - Five Ivory Park would-be hijackers got more than they bargained for when they allegedly tried to rob a man of his car, North Rand police said on Tuesday.

Superintendent Eugene Opperman said one of the five robbers had a pistol and instructed the driver to get out of his car on Sunday evening.

The 35-year-old man took his car keys, got out of his car and was able to push two of the four men away.

"He then ran towards the hijacker's car where he pulled out the driver and drove away to the Ivory Park police station and reported the matter," said Opperman.

(ed. note: Not the wisest of descisions but hey...a pretty brave move none-the-less! Now this is where it goes from the sublime to the ridiculous.... )

After a short while, one of the five who had allegedly tried to hijack the man came to the police station to report his car stolen.

(ed note: Seriously dude! You're a hijacker!!! you report YOUR car stolen??? BY the guy who's car YOU were hijacking?!?!?)

"By coincidence, a woman who was reporting a case of rape recognised the robber who had raped her earlier on Sunday," Opperman said.

(AND you're a rapist who just commited a rape as well?!?...talk about trusting the justice system...and yay for the poor woman who probably thought they would never catch the bastidge!)

The man was arrested at the scene while his four accomplices were arrested shortly afterwards. The five were charged with attempted armed robbery and rape and would appear in Kempton park's magistrate's court on Tuesday.

You can read the full story here!

Jussis Broe!

2006-10-10T16:51:00.000Z

Sitting yesterday with my kids when suddenly and without warning Danny, my son my king...born in London, living in Manchester with a full on british accent declares....

"JUSSIS BROE!!!!"

Ah....fruit of my loins

2006-10-09T14:10:00.000Z

Hysterical!!

Before watching this..I would advise you empty your bladder and then turn up ur sound...I laughed so hard...I cried!

Rocky2006!

2006-10-09T11:48:00.000Z

This made me literally laugh out loud! Go check it out!

How do you like your eggs in the morning....

2006-10-08T20:58:00.000Z

My sunday morning breakfast...prepared by my awesome daughter... Love you my Snoo!...mommy..xxxx

Thoughts...

2006-10-02T09:21:00.000Z

Have a look at this....

And then.... This!

What are YOUR thoughts???

Wishing all those who are observing on this day...an easy fast...xxx

(ps..this is a pic my 6yr old nephew Canaan took when I was in SA)

one in a million!

2006-10-01T09:18:00.000Z

Yesterday was the man wot I love so much's birthday, so I thought it would be nice to dedicate this post to him by pointing out some of the ways in which he adds value to me and the world around him...but The Universe got in there before me...and well...I dont think I could have possibly expressed how amazing this man of mine actually is if I had written it myself! This is how The Universe reflects my babe's energy...

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu,
Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu,
Happy Birrrrthday Dear Barry,
Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu!

A few years back… not so long ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like Barry Lask doesn’t come along all that often… in fact, there’s never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again. You’re an Angel among us. Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated. Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is.

Quite simply:

You’re the kind of person
Who’s hard to forget,
A one-in-a-million
To the people you’ve met.
Your friends are as varied
As the places you go,
And they all want to tell you
In case you don’t know:
That you make a big difference
In the lives that you touch,
By taking so little
And giving so much!

Barry, you are so AWESOME! For your birthday, friends and angels from every corner of the Universe, including buddies you didn’t know you had, will be with you to wish you the HAPPIEST of Birthdays and an exciting new year in time and space. You won’t be alone!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Barry!

Happy Birthday my love...you are MY universe!! Yades xxxx

Steel Magnolias

2006-09-24T22:20:00.000Z

My best friends wedding was to say the least, breath taking. But lets start from the beginning.

I get collected and whisked away to "city deep" where Mands is due for a final dress fitting at interflora flower market. On the way over she says "you have to help me Yay (she calls me Yay), I look like dolly parton in this dress and I have just had to buy a new bra thats cost like R600 (£50ish) in the hopes that my cleavage doesnt show" We arrive at the place and we get taken into a changing room where Mands immediately begins to strip whilst a deaf ousie pulls the dress onto her arms in preperation to slip over Mandy's head. Mands puts her new bra on whilst complaining that she has put on weight due to her having to take a pill to stop her period because of the mikvah.

Anyhoo, she gets strapped in and pinned and clipped and then they pull out, what I can only describe as.... sorry Mands.... the most hideous bolero jacket which she slips over her shoulders. Now in jewish weddings, the woman has to appear under the chuppah as modestly dressed as possible, which means nothing above the forearm must be showing. (Hence the bolero disaster)

She turns to face me and says... still fussing with her exposed cleavage and complaining that the jacket is too tight on her..."waddya think Yay?" My head realing with thoughts of "if you're a true friend you will say something" "its her final fitting, she can't change it now" "the wedding is in 3 days!!" "she obviously chose this thing, you will upset her if u say anything now!" "this is NOTHING like how I imagined she would look" "its not that bad...is it???"

I smile and say... "you look beautiful my friend!"

She looks at the dress maker and says... "omg, she doesnt like it!"

CHIT!!! :-O ok... time to come clean pal... "No! I do like it...its just... that...bolero...its....not....I mean....its lovely.... its just....the dress is gorgeous! Really!... I dunno...it doesnt sit right....maybe.... it just needs.... ugh!"

"First of all....can u stop tugging at your tits for g-d sakes!" "Yay, I cant have this cleavage under the chuppah!" "OK, damage control features, can't we just sew in a square panel to cover the cleavage?" The seamstress dissapears and comes back in minutes with a small peice of satin which she has pleated and tucks it into the top of the dress....

Presto! No cleavages! problemo solvedo! actually...it finishes the dress off...looks like it was meant to be there.

They keep trying to make the bolero from hell look better but, its making Mands stand funny. The seamstress is pulling out stitches on the sleeves to loosen it a bit... the whole time I am asking, couldnt we just try a satin wrap or something? Mands is giving me the evil eye saying she has to pay for the bolero and she isnt buying something else, besides, the Rabbi wont marry her if she isnt covered appropriately, so NO wrap!

I say to her... " do you love your dress?"

She responds hesitantly... " I... LIKE my dress..."

"ok" say I.

The bolero from hideousville still doesnt look right, its pulling across her back which is making her stick her voluptuous breasts out and pull her shoulders back and she is pulling and tugging and is clearly uncomfortable.

I keep asking the seamstress, "dont u just have a strip of satin fabric that we can throw over her shoulders...just to TRY!" Eventually she gives in and dissapears into the back room. On her return she is carrying, wot appears to be, specifically designed to match this particular dress!

She tries it on, and the result was...herMy Friendy dancing infront of the mirrors turning to me and saying without prompting...

"OMG Yay! I LOVE my dress!!!"

This was the final result...she looked..exquisite!

My favourite pic!

Remember that little bump? Well this handsome young man...is the result! CA...UTE!!!

The wedding was a moment in my life which I will treasure, not only because I got to see my special freindy finally commit to one man!...ok 2 if u count the widdle guy... but more importantly because as I sat at a table at which 7, including myself, of her oldest and dearest friends sat, and in her speech as she acknowledged each of us for showing true testament of a dear friendship, she choked back the tears. When mentioning her late mother, again fighting teats...I personally was bawling my eyes out...I turned to look at the rest of her friends at the table only to find...they too...had tears streaming down their faces...each of us holding our own special memory of the same person.

It warmed my heart and I thought...O.M.G! Steel Magnolias features!! How very blessed this girl has been to have a group of such special friends who would cry right beside her. Not to mention...a good man to be her husband! Amen.

He ain't heavy...

2006-09-24T22:05:00.000Z

....He's my brother....xxx

And now I'm back! From Outta space...

2006-09-17T12:56:00.000Z

Babe, man wot I love so much, drove me to the airport at wot I, and most normal people would consider to be the crack of a sparrows fart! Due to the terror threats, I was requested to be at the airport 3 hours prior to my departure. This meant... 3-a-fuckin-m...which translated into leaving home at omg-most-people-are-only-coming-home-from-a-joll-o'clock! Logically, I didn't see any need for going to bed...so I packed while everyone else in my household slept peacefully. Woke babe up when it was time to go...half way to the airport I realise...I don't have a terminal number...yikes! Call my travel hotline...bless them for being there at such an un-godly hour. Terminal 2..phew!

We exchange "I love you's" but I can tell that he has alreddi put up his invisible sheilding. He does this, I think, to protect himself from that which his over active imagination warns him may become a reality. *shrug* Whatever!

It takes me all of 10 mins to check in, making sure that the bag carrying all my nail equipment gets put through carefully with fragile stickers on it. The first thing that dawns on me as I go through customs and on to 'airside' is there is absolutely no element of time. Its almost like walking into another dimension. People milling about like its normal daylight hours... eating burger king, shopping for perfumes, puffing on a ciggie in the smoking section. (ok that was me...but there were others!) Hellooooo its 4 in the morning!!

My flight to amsterdam is called and I stub out my last ciggie for a while to come. Strange as it may seem, I cant remember who I sat next to on the plane, its a short flight, just 35mins in the air. We land at Schipol and taxi up the runway for what seems like an eternity. A good 15-20mins. No kidding! I think the pilot got lost or something cos, we were taxiing for ages! Finally we are able to dis-embark. I'm panicking cos I have forgotten the time difference and think I might miss my connecting flight. Once in Schipol, I relax, realising my mistake. The airport is delightfully familiar to me, flooding back memories of my trip with babe on his 40th birthday.

After a little shop round duty-free, a couple of ciggies and a drink its time to board for the long haul to Jo'burg. We board the plane and as I look for my seat, my ears start picking up the familiar but long forgotten sounds of the south african 'twang'. I have to fight the desire to kiss and hug each of my fellow passengers as if they are long lost relatives. "hello, howzit china?!" is pumping through my blood as the reality of where I am and where I am going finally sets in. Settling into my seat, between a lady who has just travelled from toronto where her daughter lives, back to her home in Pretoria, and a couple with a 9 month old baby who have just finished a holiday in spain and returning to their home in Houghton.

Of course, its the baby who initiates first contact. "pleased to meet you, my name is Sebastian" he screeches with delight as his mother translates with a strong south african accent. Sufficive to say, Sebastian and I got along swimmingly throughout the journey. Gorgeous kid. Loverly folks.

We all chatted and got a small clipping from each others lifestory to carry with us on our journeys. I was saddened by the lady next to me's 'typical of the new south african' storie. Family strewn across the globe. Her having major spinal problems and still making the annual great trek to see her grandkids. She sat there, clearly in such pain and discomfort, without complaint. Her husband, who sat in the seat across the aisle from her, keeping a watchful eye on her. When she needed to go to the toilet, he would lift her into his strong arms supporting her whilst she adjusted to a standing position and then help her to the loo. (and probably in the loo as well) He would return her to her seat and support her as she winced her way down to sitting position. When he could no longer assist her in her struggle to find a comfortable position, he would stand and watch her with a look of agony of a man who could hardly bear to see the woman he clearly adored in such pain...his heart breaking right before my eyes. He waited patiently for her to settle, holding the blanket ready to cover her legs for her. I turned to her at one point and said " he cant bear to see you like this" she nodded in agreement and then shrugged as if to say "I wish he didnt have to." I touched her hand for a moment and said "dont worry, he can handle it, he clearly loves you so much." to which she sighed.."ja, ek weet" and wiped a solitary tear.

For the 10 hours we were in the air, those people sat on either side of me, were my family. We shared so much, pain, frustration, fear, joy, laughter, smiles, exhaustion, anxiety, excitement and love.

We landed, and as if those hours had never existed, we clambered off the plane to our new adventures. And so began the rhythmic beating of an old but ever so familiar and comforting drum....

As we waited for our luggage, the age old saying... "theres no rush in africa" sprung to mind. It took ages for the bags to get offloaded and typically, mine seemed to be the last.

Finally I had my goodies and I rushed toward the doors, I dont know if it was the fact that I was about to come face to face with my brother whom I hadn't seen in 5 years...or the promise of a fag after 10 hours straight but my legs couldn't carry me quickly enough.

I pushed my trolley through the sea of faces, all waiting to see someone else come through the doors, scanning them myself thinking "will I even recognize my own brother after all these years?" and then I saw him... my couldn't-do-anything-wrong-in-my-eyes-totally-rocks guy, smiling and waving. I smile and wave back trying not to run people down with my trolley but not really 'bovvered' if I do cos my hero, my backstop, my big bruvvah is merely in leaping distance now so...wotEVA!

"Hello my darling" are his first words to me as we hug... "HI! how are you?" I respond... and so began my journey of re-discovery, or re-membering as my heart skipped a beat and began drumming to the african rhythm borne in my soul.

Time...

2006-08-27T13:25:00.001Z

Gawd! How time flies eh? Been ages since I have managed a post, and yet there is so much going on that I'm not entirely sure where to begin.

As it is probably the foremost thing on my mind at present...I am returning to the land of my birth, my motherland, I'm going back to my roots...yea! Yes people, I shall be winging my way to Joeys, Jo'burg, Gauteng, South Africa one week from today! The prodigal daughter returns and all that malarky. It has been almost 10 years since we left those god-forsaken shores and over 5 years since my last visit.

The motivation: My Best Friends Wedding! You may remember a post entitled "Mandela" which was dedicated to this special woman. I swore that I would be there for her wedding...and wherever humanly possible, I like to keep my promises.

The best and worst part, is that I am flying solo! A difficult decision, but a necessary one. Best because I wont have any one else to consider or consult before making a decision while there, worst because they very much want to accompany me (especially Sash) and I desperately would like to share this with them. But reality bites people! So it's Billy-no-mates-doing-jo'eys-solo-features.

Speaking of Billy-no-mates... it has come to my attention that my son, my king... has FINALLY (after almost 2 years in this house) made some friends down the road! Whoopeeeee! So today he brought his "friend" round to see his house.... his gorgeous, blond, petite, named Sophie..."friend"...hehe...and oh my gawd guys, I witnessed my rambunctious, cocky, cheeky, bless his little tochas, son...turn into the perfect little gentleman. Offering drinks and biscuits and crisps after a grand tour of our somewot messy home. Ha! (see mom! I TOLD u he would sort himself out!) Now ...if I can just get Sash to meet a couple of local kids...hmmm.

Finally, my mom in law...has officially left the building! After having her as a houseguest for close to 6 months, and as much as I loved having her here, I was muchos relieved that I was getting my house, my life, and my privacy back. I wish her well in her new home.

Puss in Pot

2006-08-27T13:21:00.000Z

Notice...

2006-08-14T23:25:00.000Z

This notice tickled me.....

He said, She said...

2006-07-21T23:27:00.000Z

Just a couple of funny things my kids have come up with recently....

As its been really...REALLY hot here in Manchester recently and the fact that Danny is a born and bred brit, bless his little 8yr old tochas (bum), he stated to me on what was recorded to be the hottest day of the year when I fetched him from school...

"Mom, I am SO hot that even my sweat has got sweat!!"

**************************************************

Sash, my 12 yr old, on the other hand came up with a doozie remark the other day the onversation went something like this:

Me: so how was school?
Sash: Fine
Me (hoping to get more than the usual one word responses): did you learn anything interesting today?
Sash: Actually, someone told me that they have discovered a new planet.
Me: Really? who told u that?
Sash: Oh, I cant remember who, just heard someone saying.
Me: Cool! So is it like in our solar system?
Sash: I dunno.
Me: Hmm, is it in this galaxy?
Sash: I dunno.
Me: Well where is this new planet then?

Sash: What do you want....Directions!??!?!

****************************************************

I collected Danny from school the other day, he climbs in the car stating that "today was THE worst day of his life!!!!!!" (NB mega exclamations!)
I ask him "why? What happened?"
He says "someone stabbed him!"
Shocked I say "what u mean stabbed u, with what?!??!"
He replies " another boy stabbed me with his pencil!" pulling his shirt open at the same time and showing me a pin prick puncture in his chest. "I can hardly breathe now!"
I say " aww, its just a little hole, Im sure u will be fine"
He says " the worst part of it was that I was so thirst and hungry but I didnt have anything to drink or eat 'cos I was scared that if I did, it would come squishing out of the hole...and now Im starving!!"

Deep Fried Piedah

2006-07-21T22:51:00.000Z

Cooking friday night dinners can be a tedious tiring thankless task. But there is one friday night supper that wont be forgotten in a long while.

I was cooking my world famous chicken and beef shnitzel (I call it shnitzNel cos thats how Danny used to say it when he was younger) which involves egging and then crumbing the meat and then shallow frying it in very hot oil. Of course in this process there is invariably a few stray crumbs that come off the meat and float freely in the seering hot oil.

This never posed a problem untill the other night...

There I was, standing infront of the cooker with a pan of bubbling oil cooking merrily when something caught my eye...as I looked up from the pan I saw a fairly large spider pretty much at eye level to me, bungie jumping from the overhead extractor! I dont know if it was my reaction next that did it as I gave a yelp of shock ...as one does...when confronted with a bungie jumping daredevil spider, or perhaps it was a simple scientific explanation of too much heat from the bubbling sea of oil and browning shnitznels below for that fine thread like bungie web, that caused this clearly suicidal beast to swan dive directly into the lava like furnace below him.

"OH MY G-D!!!!" shouted I into the pan...searching amongst the floating burnt crumbed cornflakes hoping to find one special floater, with legs! Praying that it had not landed on one of the pieces of meat that were busily frying but realising that there wasnt a ...dare I say it... "spiders chance in hot oil"...haha...geddit? ..spiders? hot oil?....a little more riske' than a snowballs chance in hell...of me finding that deep fried 8 eyed freak!

And so, we dined, with a whole new perspective on Haute Cuisine. To quote Timon of "The Lion King" ...

"It comes...with a very pleasant...CRUNCH!"

Pics from the "formal do"

2006-07-16T23:25:00.000Z

The P.A.R.T.Y

2006-07-04T15:32:00.000Z

Ok so, whilst its still fresh in my mind... heres the low down of Sashi's big day.

We bought a gorgeous white marquee tent in which to have the party ala South African style...ie...in the 'gardin' ... somebody forgot to tell me I wasn't Dorothy and that I definately wasn't in 'Kansas' anymore... well....loads of people told me but...would I listen?!? pfffft!

We are in the midst of a "heat wave" here in Manchester... which in its essence is laughable to say the least...infact they stated on the radio this morning that we are one notch away from a state of emergency should it get any hotter....ahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!! Yes people... in the middle of a friggin heat wave...twenty-fuckin-eight degrees out there! All us rainbow peeps are grinning from ear to ear chooning "ja man, now THIS is summer! pull out the braai (barbeque)"

But alas, much like our south african summer, those late afternoon thunder showers which would be welcomed with a dash inside for a chill on the cool leather sofa infront of the telly untill it stopped and if it wasnt lightning, we could even have a goof (swim) in the rain...

There was no holding back mother nature on sunday.

At 5pm, after a sweltering day of trying to keep ice and chocolates from melting and drinks to stay chilled and decorating the marque with pink, silver and black helium balloons, ribbons ect.

The heavens opened, but not just opened... a mancunian phrase aptly describes it as 'CHUCKIN IT DOWN!'. We were in an electrical thunder storm that created rivers in the roads in a matter of minutes. I wasn't worried... it would pass... rather now than later eh? So for an hour it torrented down, and we watched the marque thrashing in the gale force winds, the balloons which were loose on the ceiling of the marquee almost making their way out of the air vents. Barry and his brother ran out when they noticed the ceiling beginning to cave in from the weight of the water and began pushing the water out... the carpet getting soaked.

Then the dj called, "are we still going ahead?" "we dont have a choice! Its gonna break! Its just a summer storm!" I shout down the phone worried that the lightening overhead is gonna shoot through the mouth peice and melt my fillings. "Right, see u in 30 mins" says he.

By the time he arrived, the rain had stopped and just that distant rumble every so often reminded us of what had passed. They got all the gear into the marquee and I set about trying to dry the tables and chairs a bit, went inside to finish my make-up and realised we had been in the eye of the storm as the winds picked up again and so began the tale end of what we will fondly dub " hurricane SHIRA (Sashi's hebrew name).

The DJ insisted that this was it for the night, he wasnt going to put his or the lives of everyone else at risk by staying out in the marquee and we needed to move the whole party inside. All hands on deck at this point with the men carrying all my lounge and dining furniture into the marquee and all the party and disco gear into the rapidly emptied lounge dining area of my home. Literally with 2 mins to spare.

Guests started arriving, by 7:35 the rain had stopped! The sun returned to its former spendour and I had 25 kids crushing chocolate, crisps, burgers, hotdogs, sherbert ect into my carpets, putting mustard onto helium balloons and sending them back up to my ceiling, sitting around texting each other on their mobiles or hanging around outside on the street while the dj played his music to himself. Whilst the small contingency of adults sat around my dining room table...in the marquee!

At that point I just decided to stop worrying and to just enjoy the evening, everybody was fed, warm, dry, happy, but most of all...Sasha-Lee was having a good time. We had some special moments where we dedicated some songs to her and of course I landed up bawling in her arms after asking the dj to play the first song that her little ears ever heard on the day she was born when I sang these words by Prince to her:

Could U beThe Most Beautiful Girl in the World
It's plain 2 see
U're the reason that God made a girl

When the day turns into the last day of all time
I can say, I hope that U are in these arms of mine
When the night falls before that day I will cry
I will cry tears of joy cause after U all one can do is die

Could U beThe Most Beautiful Girl in the World
It's plain 2 see
U're the reason that God made a girl

How can I get through days when I can't get through hours
I can try but when I do I see U and I'm devoured
Oh Yes

Who'd allow, who'd allow a face 2 be soft as a flower
I could bow and feel proud in the light of this power

Could U beThe Most Beautiful Girl in the World
It's plain 2 seeU're the reason that God made a girl
Oh yes U are

And when the stars fall one by one from the sky
I know Mars could not be 2 far behind
Cuz baby, this kind of beauty has got no reason 2 ever be shy
Cuz honey this kind of beauty is the kind that comes from inside

Could U be (Could U be) The Most Beautiful Girl in the World
So beautiful, beautiful
It's plain 2 see (It's plain 2 see)
U're the reason that God made a girl

Holiday Pics

2006-06-17T18:07:00.000Z

Checking in from Turkey...

2006-05-29T19:55:00.000Z

Hi all that bother to check out my blog from time to time...heres me...popping in to tell u wot an amazing time we are having in Turkey...pics will follow when we get back home but for now....just know...one week down...one more to go...

Met some loverly brit peeps... and we are all enjoying HOT HOT weather and loads of relaxing shloffs (sleeps)

Back with u soon...

Moi....xxx

Me Before and After

2006-05-14T22:35:00.000Z

Just wanted to show you guys...my NEW DO!

Heres before my visit to my local Hair salon....

BLECH!!!

Heres me, back from said salon...
Ayyyy...do that voodoo that you doo doo when you doo the voodoo that you dooooo!

Holy Crap Batman!

2006-05-10T21:51:00.000Z

Sorry peeps... life has just gotten the better of me. Tricky when you have mom in law living in what used to be your computer/office room. Not much time to sit and ponder the www.

Anyhoo, moving swiftly on... about a month ago babe and I were invited to a client/friends 40th birthday bash which I have to say, we thoroughly enjoyed.

As you can see from the pic, it was a murder mystery evening. Basically each guest is given a character role to play in the event. Someone gets 'murdered' and the show begins. My character was "Susan Stone" (must have been the way I was sitting with no knickers on...lol) and "I" loved the man who was murdered. So every time his name (Nigel Nigel) was mentioned throughout the night... I had to shout out in my most passionate distressed cry "I loved him!!" other people also had to respond to certain key words, for example one lady had to sing "I write the songs that make the whole world sing" every time the word "music" was said.

Of course it all started off with me shouting out "I LOVED HIM!!!" As I immediately took on my role as "Nigel Nigel's" most adoring fan. Everyone turned to look at me like I had just dropped out of a UFO with 7 arms and a very large vagina looking body oozing slimey goo and making strange pfft pfft noises. Of course the more I shouted out, "I LOVED HIM" the more they would say Nigels name. It got quite silly when the hosts came over to our table and interviewed me, and in my utter devastation at my beloved Nigel Nigel being murdered before my very eyes... all I could mutter into the mic was... "I loved him" When asked, who are you...I replied, "Susan Stone, I loved him" When asked, why are you here? I replied " because I loved him" When asked do you know who killed him? I replied... "No, but...I loved him!" I was THAT good people! I came <~~this~~> close to winning the award for the "most annoying character of the evening" Then some shmuck who refused to even PLAY goes and gets MY oscar! HMPH!

Babe on the other hand, was a member of the elite "tarzan club" his name... Gordon Gorilla! If that wasn't funny enough...he was called up to the front stage to do his best tarzan call....omg people...a "had to be there" moment!!! I almost wet my pants when, after them playing a recording of the tarzan call not once, not twice but 3...yes THREE times..."Gordo" made this sound that could have resembled a werewolf with a bad case of britney spears wannabe blues. Something like this...if one can possibly textualize a sound...it went... AH wooooOOOooo oh oh oooOOOohhh ah.

CRACKED ME UP BIG STYLE!! HA!

Needless to say... an awesome time was had by all.

To clean or not to clean...who stole the question?!?

2006-03-29T13:02:00.000Z

Ok so , being an Ex-spoiled-rotten-never-had-to-lift-a-finger-the-maid-will-do-it-South african... I have grown accustomed to doing it ALL! Hello...MULTITASKING!! Now I never said I do it all WELL, but I DO do it. Dont like it much, but I do it. Almost 9 Years of doing it, the cleaning, the cooking, the laundry, the hoovering, the polishing, the tidying, oh, the ever thankless tasks, to infinitum and beyond!

How I would rub a magic lamp and wish for my Lizzie, my prescious mafuta sqweezah! (my live in maid I had in SA)

Did I mention anywhere that I am raising 2 children..no wait...Im married....make that 3! And let us not forget, my business...Nail stylist extraordinaire..a full time commitment there...ooopsss...wait...I now have added ANOTHER string to my ever enlarging bow...I am now an educator/distributor for Pronails. In other words...I do Gel Nail Enhancements Training. Yes people, I teach other people how to create the worlds best Nails. (details can be found here)

Heres where it gets a little tricky. Yesterday I was processing all the housework that needed doing as apposed to the time available to do it and I said to myself...."self, you really need to get a cleaner!" So of course, the ever reliable, good old universe SHOWS UP and slots a leaflet through my letter box.

"DO YOU NEED A MAID2CLEAN?" it reads...

"yes!" I shout, my body shuddering with sheer extacy "yes Yes YES!!!!"

But....

wait....

how am I gonna do that?

How am I gonna have some stranger, come into my home, go through my things, without me there?!?

Well, I will just have to BE there!

But that defeats the object of having a cleaner doesn't it?

I mean...I cant be sitting around doing diddly sqwat, while someone else cleans MY house!??!

Ok, so... you can let her in, THEN go out. Right?

But then she is left alone in the house. Wot if she steals stuff?

No, I should go...then....come back...and inspect the house, check that nothings missing.

Ok...that could work...but then...hang on...how clean should I leave the house BEFORE she arrives?

Do I make all the beds? or does a cleaner do that?

Ok so, its cool, I think I have it sorted...

But... I wont beable to get a cleaner in, untill I have managed to give the house a good spring clean. Cos, well, I want her to see how I need it kept. And everything must be put away, and I must get a safe for my most prescious bits, and I will have to get the carpets professionally cleaned.

I cant have someone, who's job it is to look for dirt and mess, see MY dirt and mess!!!

But with my work schedule and other family commitments, I will only have at the most, one day a week to get that all done...AND keep up the daily chores.

Sooooooooo....Im thinking....I will beable to book my new maid...say.....NEVER!

Oh dear lord I think I need professional help....in more ways than I care to mention!

Feed My Pet

2006-03-28T21:21:00.000Z

Hey everyone, I have recently adopted a pet. She is a very pretty eight legged creature who I have aptly named Purplepieda. Pronounced PUR-PIL-PIE-DUH. Try not to feed her too many flies by clicking the "more" button as she will surely puke! Not sure I want pidapuke on my blog...specially purplepidapuke! Its the worst kind!

If you wanna visit with Purplepieda, u will find her spinnin a web somewhere on the page.

Peer Pressure

2006-03-26T21:12:00.000Z

For the first time in all my parenting years, I have had the vile after-taste of that which we casually refer to as Peer Pressure.

This came in the form of the debatable "Batmitzvah" celebration. As Sash goes to a Jewish school, she is at the age where one is confronted with the question of...

Does a girl need a Batmitzvah party?

Firstly, allow me to acknowledge that my first born, turned a full dozen years old on the 7th March. She has blossomed into a young lady before our very eyes and yet, the child in her still shines through in moments of weakness. Its an age which I am finding personally to be quite the challenge, on the one hand...she demands more freedom and independance, but on the other hand... she still depends so greatly on others acknowledgement and acceptance. She has a heart brimming over with compassion, generosity and genuine affection but on the other hand, she exhibits typical teenage intolerance, demanding and unbearable arguementative laziness. (this of course is only ever for the 'toppies' (old parents) )

*hey, did any one pick up on the whole fiddler on the roof scenario there??...lol

Having said that, she is the best and most loyal friend anyone could possibly have. She glows with the illumination of angel light. Sadly, with all angels, there are those who's lights shine not as bright that want nothing better than to dull hers in order that theirs would shine brighter. Not knowing that it is in that very act that dims their luminescence even further.

Sash, one day when you read this, I hope and pray that if there is one thing that I can teach you in your life, that you may KNOW and pass to your loved ones as and when your paths cross...it is this....

The more love and positive energy you give freely to others, be they close or far, be they family or foes, be they friends or strangers, the brighter YOUR light will shine. It is human nature to be drawn to the light. It gives us warmth and comfort and joy. It is only those who want your light that will try to darken it my baby, for them, you must shine EXTRA bright for they need to be shown who they really are and how they can shine just as bright. Know that you are beautiful. Know that you are truly magnificent. Know yourself. Know that you will never NEED anyone, that they infact...need YOU. Like a lighthouse on a pitch black, stormy sea. Guide them to safe harbour if they choose to follow you, but never look back...those that choose to...will ALWAYS show up. Those that dont are still lost... and thats ok.

Back to the whole batmitzvah saga...without going into too much detail, through sash, I have been feeling quite overwhelmed by the "everyone is having one!" feature. I personally feel that it is something which is quite unnessesary for a girl, having said that...apparently....everyone IS having one...even those who had unequivicably said they would NOT be having one! The bitchiness that has been borne of this 'tsunami of must haves' has left me and my child and possibly others reeling in the aftermath.

She, finding it difficult as the fickle little bitches team up with those that are 'sharing' which...apparently...doubles as a licence to spew venoumous remarks and behaviour toward those not in the loop.

Me, gasping for air in the backwash, desperately trying to stay within a non existent budget (as it was agreed many years ago that we would rather spend the money on a trip to see our families in SA and NZ) But feeling totally inadequate as a parent and good jewish mother. Wanting to give her that which "everyone else is having" so she doesnt feel like the ONLY kid who doesnt have one. But also knowing that finances just wont allow for a "do" that "everyone else is having!" AAARGHHHH!!!

Do you see the peer pressure?!?!?! Can you feel my pain?!?! Hallooooo....frustration personified!!

Most people wish to win the lottery so that they can buy a nice house, go on a fancy holiday, get that dream car. Me?! I wish I could make my daughter a nice batmitzvah party, the likes of any other spoiled little brat in that school (just so she can fit in)...AND take her on a round trip to see her family that she hasnt seen since she was 7.

Pathetic!

Finally... do you know why they say "blood is thicker than water"?

Apparently... it makes it easier to choke on!....HA!

For your listening pleasure....

2006-03-26T13:51:00.000Z

The Best Version Of Judy Garlands "somewhere over the rainbow" I have EVER heard!!

Sung by Shayne Ward winner of X-Factor 2005.

CLICK HERE!

Enjoy!

Hope

2006-03-20T23:10:00.000Z

There have been so many times that I have wanted to blog moments that have recently come to pass in my little life but, if I dont record them there and then they dissolve into the next event that crosses my path.

One thing that I have been meaning to post about, that has remained strong and steady in the past months, and spurred by some of my favourite fellow bloggers is, how I got to be where I am now.

This may take a while so I am going to write it in chapters beginning with ...

The day that changed my entire life.

Going back some 11 years ago, I was working as a sales rep for a company many of you will know as Konica, I sold high volume photocopiers, faxes and printers to high profile corporations. I was a part of the whole amalgamation of Minolta and Konica. I dealt with corparate buyers, company directors, financial directors and C.E.O's of small, medium and even the likes of Price Waterhouse.

Sash was an unbelieveably cute, bright and intelligent toddler. She was surrounded by my brothers and their families who adored the very ground she tippy toed on, my mom, my cousins, babe's mom and dad, brother, sisters, more cousins, our friends, Mands, Sands, Gav, Bren, Gav, Lawrie, Tam, Heids, Jonny, oh the list is endless...

We were the first to have a baby in our group of friends so she was always surrounded by doting adults (which I guess would explain the now 12 going on 32 year old I have now).

Barry, worked as a manager of a glazing business called Northern Mirror in Parkview (for those who remember jo'eys). I remember his boss George, who had had a stroke quite early in life which had left him with a slight speech impediment. He held Babe in the highest regard and often would leave Babe for days to run the show.

On the day in question, (gee, I sound like I am making a summation..teeehee) On that fateful day, I sat at my desk in the office, and something made me pick up the phone and call Babe at the shop. I expected to hear the usual " Hello, Northern Mirror..." Instead, the phone just rang, and rang, and rang. "Thats odd!?!" I thought at the time, why isnt anyone answering the phone? Maybe they really busy, or babe is in the loo (which was a likely option)..but...even so....theres always someone to answer the phone... even if its one of the staff doing their "eh, hello, northern mirra plis wait!" before running off to call Babe to the phone.

Something wasn't right, I hung up and dialled again...again....no response. Wierd! I left it for a few minutes but something kept nagging at me to try again. Eventually after like the umteenth time of calling with no answer...babe picked up the call...

"hello??" The minute I heard the trembling in his voice and the fact that he didnt say "Northern Mirror" I knew something was horribly wrong! "Hi Babe, whats going on??? Are you ok?!?" I asked. Silence. "babe??? whats happened?!?" I could hear his breathing, it was almost stuttered, like his brain was having trouble processing what to do next. "jezuz babe, wot the fuck is going on??? talk to me!!" my heart was beating in my throat and I felt instantly nauseous.

"We've been robbed" staggering to get the sentence out whilst trying to sound calm, "They had us at gun point babe! They made everyone lie on the ground, they wanted money and guns, I opened the safe in the office and told them to take what they wanted, but there were no guns, they didnt believe me, they were shouting to show them the safe in the back, but there isnt a safe at the back and they wouldnt believe me, they kept shouting "wheres the guns!" I told them, there are no guns! Take whatever you want, just dont hurt anybody!" He began to weep on the phone, the reality setting in as he told me, " they took my wedding ring and the watch my dad gave me, the bastards!"

After establishing that everyone, although very shaken up, was ok. Nobody was hurt. Thats the main thing. Life had become such a valueless commodity to these criminals that getting out alive was indeed a blessing.

That night, we spoke, we weighed up our options, we examined the possibilities, we valued our family's worth, we instinctively and deliberately made a choice to protect that which was and still is our most prescious of posessions.

We decided on that day, that we would pack our '5 things' we would sell everything we couldnt carry with us, and we would leave, our families, our friends, our home, our country, everything and everyone outside of our small family unit we knew and loved and go to London, England.

So began the end of all we had ever known, for a little thing called hope.

I love him because....

2006-02-13T10:55:00.000Z

... in the wee hours of the morning, whilst standing by the kitchen door having an after sex fag in the sub zero cold, completely starkers... at my request he would step outside, in the nude, point his bare bottom to the world all pert-like, and FART! So that I could complete my " does fart wind condensate in the cold like breath does?" experiment!

Professional Nails Magazine.

2006-02-13T10:12:00.000Z

Yup, its one of those "pat me on the back" moments again. This article was published in a trade magazine in Feb 2006. Its all about my ultra ego "Freddie"...lol.

Anyhoo...Im hoping if you click on the pic that it will be big enough for u to actually read the copy... so here goes...

Ok so, cant read a flippin word! So for those who care... this is how it reads...for those that dont... look away NOW!

Why Freddie Lask is to Nails what Freddie Flintoff is to cricket.

Some things are just meant to be. When selling ad space to Pronails' Gina Wavell at the local newspaper she worked on back in 2002, Freddie realised that she'd much prefer tending to peoples mitts than selling ads, so ended up booking on one of the very training courses Pronails was promoting in the ad. It seems that it was the best move Freddie ever made.
Having come to the UK from her native South Africa some eight years ago, Freddie has been working out of a Manchester based salon under the charasmatic name of "Unique Nail Couture"
Since then she has been carving a niche for herself, delivering, as her pics demonstrate, fabulous nails with an extra sparkle. "I fell in love with gel nails as a consumer having had experiences of having my nails done and realising that liquid and powder and fiberglass/ silk just wetren't for me," say Freddie, "I love the finish and the look of gel and I'm a sparkly girl at heart." To this end, its hardly surprising to hear that professionails glitter gels are close at hand. "I've been doing glitter tips for ages, but only recently discovered how much clients loved full cover glitter gel nails," she reveals. "Most clients were a little afraid to try it to begin with, but once on, they just couldnt believe that it was a gel. the sparkle is solid, not like varnich which tends to spread, and thats why I think clients love it."
So why not take a leaf out of Freddie's book and get girly with those glitters!

* and then theres all the contact details which I wont bore you any further with*
Having said that, and whilst on the topic of glitter nails...check out some new dazzling glitter nails on my OTHER blog...Unique Nail Couture

My son, My king!

2006-02-13T09:47:00.000Z

Your eighth birthday has come and gone. Your party was a success. Actually, apart from one kid who didnt come and one who did but wouldnt get on a gokart, you had a full house! Everyone had an awesome time, but most importantly you! It was worth every penny to see you cruisin round on your gokart with one hand streched up holding the bar at the top and the other hand doing a pretend yawn on the straights, like you were So super cool! Untill of course u hit a curve and had to grab the steering wheel with both hands to avoid hitting the side wall...hehe... but still in the most laid back, full on, " I SO can drive a formula 1 racing car now" feature.

I find it really difficult to look at you as anything but my baby boy, but every now and then... I see the 8yr old that you truly are... and my heart swells with love and pride.

Happy birthday Danny, my son, my king!

Mom xxx

Speaking to Angels

2006-01-30T23:31:00.000Z

It never ceases to amaze me how things find their way into our lives at that perfect moment.

It was my birthday on sunday 15th Jan, 37 years and still being blown away by all that is extraordinary in my world. So Happy birthday me...all together now... HIP HIP HOORAY!

I tend to hate this time of the year as it seems to be about expectation vs dissapointment. With each of the first 3 months of the year containing a birthday in my family, it also happens to be a financially stressfull time. Not only does one have the crippling effects of the festive season just past and the whip lash that carries over into ones earning capacity over the following months, but to have the responsibility of creating something awesome to celebrate the births of these most prescious beings that devour my world.

My birthday came and went. No biggie. Babe worked late, I cleaned my house, Sash went to a batmitzvah (cos thats the age she is at...oy vey!) so it was just me and Danny. Mom came over with a little pressie... one that reminded me of a present I bought for her...probably when I was about 13... for mothers day which was a small mounted poster which had written on it something about mothers and what she meant to me. Moms gift was a small vase..with something written about daughters. Sweet.

My kids arranged for me to get the "who wants to be a millionaire" game for dannys ds gameboy doodad..so I could at least play something on it. I really wanted that...and I am so glad they bought it for me. Barry...bought me...an alarm clock. Despite all the hints. Dont ask!.

So now we move swiftly onto Feb 2nd...Danny's birthday! My baby will be turning 8 years old!! Now if anyone recalls his birthday last year...you will understand why I am doing what I am about to tell you for this birthday. If not... you can read about it HERE and then come back. If u do...then by all means...read on...

So... I have arranged...at HUUUUUUGE expense I might add... a super cool Gokart Party for him. He has sent out the invites and we are all holding thumbs that everyone will show up on sunday.

THEN.... in March... the 7th to be precise... Sash turns 12!! My final year of pre-teendom before the terrible teens syndrome officially kicks in. But even more than that, this year is significant from a jewish perspective... The Bar mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah are a "rite of passage," a crossover from childhood to adulthood; a milestone in a Jewish life.

Judaism deems a boy a "bar mitzvah" when he turns 13 and a girl becomes "bat mitzvah" when she turns 12. (Reform Jews celebrate both boys and girls coming of age on their 13th birthday). At that point the child, who is no longer a child in the eyes of Jewish law becomes responsible for his own deeds, spiritually, ethically, and morally.

She had originally chosen to have her bedroom redone instead of having bat-mitzvah party. But after going to and being invited to so many of her peers batmitzvah's, she decided she too wants to have one. BIG FAT HUUUGE OY!!!

So now I have to...in typical yiddisha mama speak..."make her a batmitzvah! If any of you have any really cool original (but cheap people...CHEAP!)ideas for invites ect....do please pop a comment... Im DESPERATE!!

So thats Jan, Feb and March taken care of. Well sort of anyway. We skip April...cos...well...april holds the anniversary of THIS event. Moving swiftly into MAY!!

Significance? Oh yes my friends... muchos significantos doritos conchitos... we will be winging our way to the land of TURKISH DELIGHTS!!!! yum!! 2 WEEKS OF PURE 5 STAR LUXURY. So why the mexicanos inueondos bambinos? (I could do this for days!) Cos I DONT KNOW ANY TURKISH!!! duuuuh! (clearly...I dont know mexican either...pfft)

But in the MEANTIME....some exciting stuff to report....

I will be going to london on monday...to complete my "educators training". This means that I will be qualified to teach...yes people...T>E>A>C>H other people how to do the nails I do. I have 4 students at the starting post, ready to absorb and eminate all the knowledge and experience I bestow upon them..heehee...suckers! I will be setting up a training centre here in manchester... the first of its kind in manchester of this particular product... so... onward and upward I say old chaps. (gawd I could so do with a brolly and a bouller hat right about now)

Oh yea!! Back to the title of this post....teehee...talk about going off on a tangent! A pack of Angel Cards...found their way to my coffee table. Apparently brought in by Barry, having found them, brand new and still in their pack, on a clearance job he did. Unbeknownst to him...I have always wanted some. To cut a long story short...I did a reading on myself...and I was completely blown away by the cards that I selected.

The one angel that I chose...out of 48...was Isda the Guardian Angel of food and nourishment! An exerpt of what was written was as follows:

"On the matter of your body, I urge you to review your eating habits, ensuring that you eat wisely and take enough exercise. Respect your body and treat it as you would a dear friend...."

OMG!! For anyone who knows me... this is SO FUCKING relevant!!!! And you will be pleased to know...that I AM reviewing as advised. Looking forward to a thinner, healthier and fitter moi by this time next year!

Anyhoo...I have found a site where you can get your own angel card reading online for free...so...go ahead...knock urself out...

Click HERE for your reading

Love and light to you all.

Awesome!

2006-01-22T19:36:00.000Z

Stumbled on this video... I was dumb struck by the incredible talent...check it out...its long...but mesmerizing!

Helloooooooo?????

2006-01-08T12:53:00.000Z

Um, a favour please... Could EVERYONE that visits my blog please attempt a comment. I need to see if they are working cos... I dont seem to be getting any comments of late and I cant find the problem. So...maybe the problem...is ...uh...me?!

Ta Muchly

Yours truly

Gorgeous Girls!

2006-01-08T12:43:00.000Z

Sorry, bear with me here... but am I the only one that thinks these kids are incredibly gorgeous?!?!

Nuff said....

KissMaAss

2006-01-08T11:20:00.000Z

Went to J and A's for xmas day lunch. She put on an amazing spread! We had a really nice time. We ate, we drank, we played cards, we sang loudly but badly. Was a fun day that ended a little badly with me getting hit in the face with a reality that I dont get spoiled occassionally by the people that supposedly love me the most. Sounds brattish I know, but geez, if THEY dont spoil me...who the fuck WILL?!?!

Ah well...heres some pics of the day....

J and A

J

Ma

Auntie

Super cool hairdo Danny

Yours Truly...

Babe

May He Rest In Peace...

2005-12-10T23:37:00.000Z

Richard Pryor Died Today.... A man who spent the hardest times of his life, for other peoples laughter. I will miss this funniest of comedians. He was and always will be...one of my personal favourites. You will live forever in the giggles and chuckles of all who had the pleasure of your presence on their telly's, movie screens and stages. God Speed!

S>O>R>R>Y!!!!

2005-12-08T22:55:00.000Z

Ok just a quick one re: comments... somehow, I managed to click something that disabled your comments to show up. I have fixed it now so... please, please, make a comment so I dont feel so all alone out here....pout

Cos your filthy! ooooh But your Gorgeous!

2005-12-06T10:56:00.000Z

Yeeeehawwwww, paaaw and dawwww, teehee!

C.c.c.oldddd!

2005-12-05T20:54:00.000Z

lesson number 2: never show the bottom half of ur face in public...

Is this girl exquisite or wot?!?!?!

2005-12-05T18:39:00.000Z

mmm, ice-cream kisses...MWAH!

buses and bullies

2005-12-05T18:17:00.000Z

Driving in my car, Sash says, "MOM! dont let that bus go infront of you!" I say, "I dont have a choice, he's bigger than me!"

Dan pipes up from the back seat, "he may be bigger than you, but that doesn't mean he's allowed to bully you!"

And who says we cant learn from the young?!?

Chocolate coated kisses...MWAH!

Fame and Fortune...well...not so much.

2005-11-13T14:32:00.000Z

My work has been photographed and loaded on to a website other than my own....here, here and ok...not so much here but isnt my client gorgeous?!? bless her.

New Blog Features!

2005-11-10T23:05:00.000Z

Hey, dont forget to check out my new blog features. This will contain pics of my nails, or nails that I have worked on. So pop in for a looksee and dont be afraid to comment on my work. Click here or on my side panel over ---------->> there!

Mandela

2005-11-04T23:01:00.000Z

Howdy peeps!

Today I saw a pic of my most special and longest standing friendy In the whole wide world....with a very preggy tummy. A moment I have been longing to witness for many many years, and many many tears.

This brave woman, a beautiful woman, exquisite from the inside out, who has struggled to be the truest version of herself, for as long as I have known her.

The day we met, her mother had threatened her with a baseball bat. (She probably did something to provoke it) but in my mind at the tender and impressionable age of 14, I was afraid for her. Shortly after our meeting, she found her mother dead, having comitted suicide. For a couple of years, she continued to live at home, caring for her younger sister whilst her father, who lived an hour away, visited on the weekends. She went off the rails somewhat, and got involved with people who could provide her with the escape she so desperately sought. Weed, Mandrax, cocaine all became the order of the day. At one point, her father gave her a choice, either to go live with him on his farm, or to find somewhere else to stay. She asked my mom, if she could come and live with us.

How super groovy cool! We were like sisters! We hung out, when we wanted to, and we went our seperate ways...when we didnt want to. Her dad used to bring us fresh veggies from his farm every week. Once I came home from a night out, and she had brought a guy home whom she had met that night. I noticed he was carrying a gun. I asked him to either leave the gun outside the house, or to leave with his gun. She was FURIOUS with me! But, I only did what I believed a good older sister should do. I dont regret that day. She came right for a short while, stopped the drugging ect. But then she decided to go back home to her late moms house.

We didnt see each other for months at a time, everytime I went round to see her, her druggie friends were with her. I tried to turn a blind eye to it all. I loved her and wanted her to know I wouldn't judge her choices. I didnt have to like them tho. One day... I just couldn't do it anymore, as I watched her and her boyfriend at the time, argue about who was going to get the "cream" of a mandrax pipe, and watching her and her friends passing around a "spit bucket" for them to hack up this vile poison that collects in your throat and spit it into the bucket... my heart broke into tiny shards, my eyes stinging to fight back the tears, I got up to leave. I turned to her and my parting words were: " I love you too much to sit here and watch you kill yourself" and left. She chased after me and found me in my car, crying. She apologised and promised to never do that stuff infront of me again. I told her that I just couldn't cut it anymore, that I would always be there for her, but as long as she chose this path, I wouldnt be visiting anymore.

A few years more passed, and shortly after my wedding, our paths crossed once again. Although we would have fleeting moments inbetween, I kept my distance. But then, something happened, I got pregnant! Suddenly I realised that there would be somebody else in my life who would need my unconditional love. So, I told my friend that it was time for her to make a choice. To choose to be a part of my life on a full time basis, or not at all. Either way, I would always love her.

She chose to invest in our friendship, and I will be forever gratefull for her choice because from that moment to this, I carried a very special place for her in my heart. She became Sash's godmother, and I couldnt have created a better godmother for my child if I had been given a magical cut out doll! Her love for my daughter grew greater with each moment they shared. She would make time to visit with her, when I wasn't even there, and she would play with her and talk to her and take her on outings. She would show Sash the world where people are good and beautiful. She would always remind Sash that she was an angel, and that sometimes being an angel would hurt, but that meant she was doing a good job of being an angel.

All these memories came flooding back to me in that tiny moment when I saw my friend cupping her bulging tummy. The agony I felt, when she told me that her first baby had died in her womb at 5 months. How she'd had to deliver this prescious angel into the world without so much as one small delicious breath before parting again forever.

So, to see her, this incredible soul who's being has so enriched mine, awaiting the birth of a healthy prince...oh... words cannot describe adequatly... just a lingering ache in my heart for the joy about to be bestowed upon her. Merely weeks away now.

My only regret is that I wont be there pacing the nursing home halls, awaiting news of his safe arrival, that your god-daughter wont be there to greet her god-brother.

And finally ...that moment where I get to hold him, kiss the bridge of his nose and tell him how INCREDIBLY PROUD I am of his clever, beautiful mommy!

Forgive? Perhaps! Forget? Never!

2005-10-26T00:11:00.000Z

I love you, I miss you, Happy Birthday!

Nipples?

2005-10-22T22:58:00.000Z

My 7 year old asks me...in the frozen food section of TESCO's... out of the blue....

"Mom... Why do you have such dark nipples?!?!?"

I say embarrasingly quietly... "Danny, this is not the place to discuss my nipples..."

Dan says loudly " I know but...howcome your nipples got so big??"

The following morning... he asks while I am dressing for work...

"mom, do all fat people have such big bums?"

O M G!!!

Love em...or kill em!

Incompetence of note..

2005-10-22T19:59:00.000Z

It's time for me to have a well deserved go at a mobile phone company called O2. I cannot believe the idiocy that clearly roams their halls, stores, accounts dep and head office.

Once upon a time...there was a phone...lets call him "mobly". This clever little fella could sing, dance, make coffee, bring your slippers, order your take outs, do your accounts, take ur calls and do a backward flip whilst balancing your books!

Oh how little Freddie wanted "mobly" She lusted and fanatasised about all the different positions mobly and her would invent. She dreamed of that eternal moment when her and Mobly would finally meet. The wind would be gently brushing her cascading hair from her glowing face, her eyes bright and clear with just a hint of a tear forming in the corner. Her lips pursed, aching and slightly parted in anticipation of total bliss, when her and mobly were finally united.

BUT...there was an evil, evil element to this glorious unity. The big, bad, ugly, slimey service provider "O2". Disguised as something one needed in order to breath, masquerading as being better than multiple orgasms... it waited, knowing that Freddies desire for Mobly was more than she could ignore and slowly and surely...it drew its plans....

DAA DAA DAAAAAAAAAAA DADADA DADADA DAA DAA DAAAAAAAAAAAAA DADADA DADADA....*intro music for war of the worlds the original*

So Freddie and Mobly found each other, and were promised 18 months of happiness and prosperity....but merely weeks later Freddie discovered something terrible about Mobly. He just wasnt all that O2 had promised he would be. He couldnt perform half the glorious functions he was designed to do. Freddie was distressed, distraught, dishevelled! "oh why dear mobly? Why??!?!" she cried. She asked O2 to help, but there were many faces, many voices, many names. All chanting in unison ..."please hold the line... maybe so n so can help... not my department... try this number..." on and on it went, the hours turned into days, the days to weeks, the weeks to months! Finally, it was confirmed... brand spankin new Mobly...needed a.....oh dear god....can it be true....no no....not her beautiful new mobly....S O F T W A R E U P G R A D E!!!!.....................ARRRRGHHHHHHH!!

Yes children, Mobly...couldnt get it on, up, in, wotever. Yes children, Mobly had to be sent away! And while Mobly was getting the upgrade he was 'supposed to come with on purchase' Freddie was given... a loan phone! Gasp! Which she had to pay a D e p o s i t for...gasp#2!

Freddie was mad! Freddie wanted justice! Freddie drew her own plan! *see above for war of the worlds intro*

Freddie found the email address of the BIG chief executive officer of O2. Freddie didnt want to play with Mobly anymore. She didnt want to play with O2 anymore. Neither had serviced her needs adequitely. She told c.e.o how unhappy she was, and how she just wanted out. Out of the contract. Out of the painfull frustration that was. C.e.o listened. He sent his bishop to smooth Freddie over with offers of a new Mobly, a better improved Mobly. But freddie was tired. She just wanted it to all be over. So the bishop agreed for it to be over. He agreed to cancel her contract with NO penalties, to refund her original payment and to make the transistion as easy as possible.

Her number was returned to her immediately. The bishop warned her that a final statement would be sent out... a sum of £400 odd, but to ignore it as he would immediately reverse it. He told her to return loan phone to the store for her refund and to take mobly's accessories back too. She followed his instruction, but when she got to the store the shmuck said that even though the contract was cancelled, mobly belonged to Freddie. Even though she was being reimbursed for the purchase, Mobly MUST go home with Freddie. So Freddie sighed, shrugged and agreed. But shmuck returned after 30mins to tell Freddie, Mobly was missing! But he would post Mobly to her. And so...she left.

A few days later, Freddie recieved a remittance from O2 stating it had an enclosed cheque for the amount to be reimbursed....ehahhhh...NO such enclosure! Freddie called the accounts dep who insisted, the payment had be done electronically... ehahhhhh...NO bank account details! They said they would call her back... ehahhhh....NO call back! Shmuck still hasnt sent mobly back to Freddie.

Freddie gets a letter from her bank telling her... O2 just tried to withdraw £400 odd from her account! Due to there not being enough funds, The bank will now be making a £30 charge...and if that charge makes her account go into unauthorised overdraft...they will make ANOTHER £28 charge!

Freddie is now spitting mad!! Fire is looming in her eyes, steam is gushing from her flaring nostrils, her flowing hair turns into screaming writhing souls, her teeth turn razor sharp and her forked tongue slithers between their knife like edges....

C.E.O of O2......Freddie is P I S S E D!!!

to be continued......

yea woteva!

2005-10-20T21:33:00.000Z

O.K! O.K! Even Im getting bored of visiting my blog...its just that...I have so much fun visiting everybody elses blogs and being a incessant (ok im gonna stop trying to spell that word right)everybody elses blog lurker.

So many people with such amazing talent out there...I dare to wonder why I even bother really. My stuff isnt funny, it isnt profound, some of it isnt even interesting, and how...pray tell...does one get ANY input when one cant get more than 3 comments on a good day. I visit the likes of amalah who gets like 45 comments on a bad day! ...ugh...wtf!

Tell u what....Im about ready to sell my kids!!!!!!! Any takers? As much as I love them...and...I do adore them...the times of me begging for the moment when sleep overcomes them are getting far to closely spaced. I HATE,HATE,HATE SCHOOL BREAKS!!!!! I hate having to spend at least 2 hours EVERY night going from mother of the year to screaming banshee with a VERY short fuse! I hate that at the point of no return... I want to hurt someone! Usually myself! I hate that I hate who I am in these moments...and most of all...I hate that no matter how I approach it...every night...is the friggin same.

There! Im done! No really! Im d.o.n.e!

The "Dam"

2005-10-05T13:05:00.000Z

Ok I have to take you back to last week...sayyyy wednesday 28th Sept. Cos this is where it all really started.

Sash woke up in the morning feeling a bit poorly and didnt want to go to school. Of course the minute Daniel clocked that she may get to stay home...he too began complaining that he wasnt well either. Although nothing was said to Sash, she figured it was wiser to just go to school, which was admirable cos she obviosly wasnt well.

She called from school about 2 hours later asking to be fetched which we duely did. She went to bed and got on with getting better. When Dan came home from school he started getting a temp... which meant that he was coming down with something too.

I started to panic a bit, the reason being that in the 2 years we have been living in manchester, my kids would be spending the weekend at my cousins house for the first time ever! As I was taking Barry to Amsterdam for his 40th birthday. The last thing I needed was for their very first sleepover there for them to be ill. Not only that but for us not to even be in the same country was a tad worrying. And like all mothers...the guilt set in big time. I didnt wanna lumber my sick kids on someone else but it was too late to cancel the trip either.

Took them to the doc on thursday morning who said that they had a virus which would need to work its way out of their systems without treatments. CHIT! Spoke to jane who very kindly pointed out to me that she is in fact familiar with dealing with sick kids as she has 3 of her own, and that everything would be ok. PHEW!

Friday morning, 7am, Jane calls, her youngest has had a raging temp all night and wouldnt be going to school, this meant, not only would she have 3 kids out of 5 ill, but it also meant that things needed to be re-arranged as far as my kids getting to her house after school was concerned. I won't bore u with the details suffice to say that a few phone calls sorted that out.

Kids off to school, everything sorted, now to get packed and ready for our weekend of debauchery...hehe

Go to get the tickets and passports ready......

N.O. F.R.I.G.G.I.N. P.A.S.S.P.O.R.T.S.!.!.!.!.!.!.

Where are they? they were there! where? There in that cupboard! I swear I had seen them there a gazzilion times!! Now they were nowhere to be seen. We turned the house upside down and inside out. The garage too. They must have been stolen! How? When? Barry having a go at me for not checkin earlier...like...LAST WEEK! Me trying to keep a cool head with only an hour left before we would need to leave the house. We hadnt even packed yet...but then....it didnt look like we were going anyway! The taxi was due at midday... at 11:20am Barry found them underneath....UNDERFUCKINNEATH the very same cupboard that I had seen them in. Obviously when he moved the cupboard, they had fallen out and under.

I burst into tears of relief!

We flew around the house throwing things in bags, dressing and getting bits sorted. Flew out the house and got to the airport on time.

So began our journey....

The flight was all of 50mins, amazing. We chatted to a couple next to us on the plane who were also celebrating the hubbys birthday (30th). As we were preparing to land, seat belt lights went on, and Barry started coughing, and he couldnt stop, people were all looking concerned that he was splutttering the eboli virus or something into the air. I called a steward to ask for some water for him, he gave me a bottle and asked wot the matter was, I said he had had a bit of flu and he had something caught in his throat. I swear people, his face at that moment could have been like the in flight movie! I saw flashes of all those movies where airborne deadly diseases were transported on planes flash through his eyes..."oh" he said...dissapearing into the back and returning with some paper napkins... "can u ask him to cough into these" he said, handing them to me. teehee.

Anyhoo we land in Amsterdam, fondly referred to from now on as "the Dam!" Make our way onto a...get this peeps...DOUBLE DECKER TRAIN! kewl! It was soooo quiet compared to the english transport. We found our way to our hotel where I had pre arranged some chocolate cake, balloons and wine to be provided in our room...which will fondly be referred to from now on as our "widdle IKEA cupboard" All very minimalistic and white. Seriously, you had to do the tango with each other to get to the window. Which we didnt mind doing, as , well, we kinda did a LOT of tango'ing...nudge nudge wink wink...say no more.

Anyhoo, our first port of call was a candlelight cruise on the canals of "the Dam" which, of course, wouldnt have been the same had I not totally wiped out on all fours in the middle of the busiest street in the whole of Amsterdam! Practically throwin myself into the boat whilst breaking 2 of my newly done nails...and that was BEFORE I had anything to drink, smoke or wotever!

We had cheese and wine on the boat, chatted to the only other english couple on the cruise, amazing how birds of a feather ..blah..blah. It was special, and enjoyable. But for any of u who know my husband...there was only one place he really wanted to be...besides between my legs of course...and that was at a "coffee shop or pub the Dam style!"

So our cruise ended, and we went for a walk, and lo and behold we found a jamaican pub where "white widow" was on the menu. Yup, we bought a bag, sampling the joys of just hangin out and smoking a doob, a very enlightening experience to say the least..lol.

We found a place that was still serving food and we had them whip up a smashing meal of spare ribs, which we had the pleasure of sharing with a gorgeous kitten who played with the bones we offered her. The owner most apologetic but we insisted that the kitten was cheap entertainment for us, so he left us to it.

The following morning, we decided to make our way to the Ann Franks museum and then after that the Van Gogh...not realising that the 2 were miles away from each other. But it was cool, we got an interesting perspective of "the dam". The cuew? que? quew? cue?..well u know wot i mean... for ann franks was huge..so we decided to rather make a spliff and have a coffee instead. We chilled there, watching the world go by on bicycles, fascinating at how the kids were so adapted to this environment, standing on the backs of their mom or dads bike, or sitting, or sitting on the handle bars, or in a little chair in the front...some had 2 kids, one in front and one in back. Completely at ease and trusting of their safety.

We then made our way to Van Goghs, walking all the way, stopped for a sushi along the way, and then on to the museum. Did the tour and caught a tram back to the hotel. Went to a little shop round the corner from our hotel and bought some magic shrooms. Back to our widdle ikea cupboard and ate them shrooms. gawd did we giggle!
That was fun!

That evening we went off to see the red light district as its meant to be seen, on a saturday night. So many people, so many men! So much testosterone! So many offers of cocaine! (none taken I might add) The women of the night baring their scantlily clad ass&t's, beckoning you to their door. Even both of us was on offer!. It was world within a small street. A night life like nothing we have ever been exposed to in our lives. And yet, a strange yet inviting acceptance of what is. We found a coffee bar where we had some hot chocolate and a bag of "bubblegum doob" We wanted to see a live sex show, but they were hellishly expensive and we were pleasantly surprised to find, on our return, porn channels freely available on the telly in our widdle ikea cupboard...so we kinda had a private show for free...hehe.

The following day was our last day and we just cruised some of the areas we hadn't seen, went back for a second time to a sandwich shop called illys, which made THE best roast beef sarnie ever!

Back to the station, back to the airport, back to manchester, back to life, back to reality!

If there is one thing I have learned from this trip people, its this.... make time for you and your partner on a regular basis! Take time out from ur children! Go on short breaks with just the 2 of you! It makes the WORLD of difference! I know thats 3 things but it all adds up to the same thing. We waited 13 years to do this...I wish we had done so sooner...cos we rediscovered why the hell we chose to be together in the first place!

So....Happy 40th birthday "ol'man" I love u ..now and forever.

Your still the "one"

2005-09-13T15:42:00.000Z

To the love of my life, this life and all that follow. Today we celebrate 13 years of growth, friendship, commitment, adoration, desire, companionship, love and marraige. With every hardship that has been tossed in our path, we have chosen to learn and grow stronger. We have chosen to stand together and fight each battle as a team and found that it was only when we were on the same side that we were formidable.

Bubs, you are my rock! You are my centre! You are the reason each breath tastes as sweet as it does. With every odd stacked against us from even before we embarked on our journey as husband and wife we have turned the tide, we have calmed the storms, we have parted the clouds and brought glorious warmth and light into our lives.

Thank you for being who you are, thank you for showing me who I am, thank you for giving me 2 incredible children, thank you for loving me, thank you for being the wind beneath my wings.

I love you more today than I did yesterday but half as much as tomorrow....always and forever...xxx

(When I first saw you, I saw love.
And the first time you touched me, I felt love.
And after all this time, you're still the one I love.)

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Happy Barmitzvah wedding anniversary my love!

the things they say...

2005-09-10T22:37:00.000Z

Yesterday Danny says to me... "mommy, I love you like the sun loves it hotness!"

A couple of days ago Sash tells me that her new english teacher, Mrs Goldstein, is VERY strict! "she is like frankenstein....without the franken!"
I guess that would make her something like this...?

Danny asks me, "mom, if hashem made the very first man, how did he make him and who was he?"

OY!! Well heres your answer...s Danny.

or....

SAD

2005-09-04T18:29:00.000Z

With all that is going on in cities bludgeoned by Katrina's wrath, I have felt immense and overwhelming sadness, almost feeling each mothers agony, each father's helplessness, each childs confusing fear. So many families quite literally blown apart. Homes destroyed. Lives shattered. The american goverment asking for aid?!?!? Have they recently checked how much money they have spent and budgeted for their armed forces?!?! Does anybody else see the madness of this situation? Its like a mother spending money on desiger labels whilst her children beg barefoot for shoes. Its like a father buying cuban cigars whilst his son lies bleeding on a sidewalk.

For goodness sakes take care of your own before spending billions destroying other countries!!

OH WORLD...WHAT HAS BECOME OF THEE!

Cuz

2005-08-28T13:13:00.000Z

This one touched a special place for me, with "them" being here in manchester. An opportune time for him to reach out to me, he chooses not to...

Clearly I need to move on...I just wanted him to express in some way that I added value to his life...my bad!

Big Bruvuh's widdle Nail tech

2005-08-26T22:45:00.000Z

I CANNOT believe that I have just lost my entire post on this topic and am now having to rewrite it!!!!!!!

Ok now that I am done ventint... I have been waiting an AGE to update u all on this happening in my life recently....I know its not a huge deal, but wot can I say, I am a sad sad reality TV sucker and every now and again my line of business brings me to cross paths with those who choose to make thier lives public property.

I have had the pleasure, or displeasure, depending on how one chooses to look at it, of meeting Ruby Wax, and now I can add to my wall of fame, Lesley of Big Brother 2005 UK.

Yes people...I give you...ME! Doing gel Nail enhancements on fingers and Toes for a photoshoot in Reveal magazine. This news was splashed on most local press, approx 4 or 5 different papers in all.

Heres one of her nails...for the record....lol

Anyhoo... it was a groovy experience which I can honestly say I have learned loads from...who knows..maybe I will become...*nail tech to the stars* one day...hehehe

I'm Back!!!!!!!

2005-08-24T23:02:00.000Z

Just a quick one to let all my 'devout' readers (har de har) that we are finally back online! Yay us!

Will post loads of useless crap as soon as I have caught up on all the emailing and other bumpfh one gets clogged down with when one has been without internet access for 2 months... watch this space....

My son, my king!

2005-07-18T18:22:00.000Z

awww...bless!

I think this pic says it all really. The blessed bezausted boy cub at his most delisciously scrummy. Dontcha just LOVE when they're sleeping?!? *muwahahaha...evil laff*

Ahem!...tap tap...is this thing one??

2005-07-17T22:10:00.000Z

You know how sometimes you get so caught up in the world around u that you find yourself eventually spinning out of control. YOur hands grasping for something to grab onto to steady your feet?.

The past three weeks have had some pretty similar qualities for me...starting with our little Tia...who if u check the comments for this post I have posted an update email I recieved from my client for all you groovy people that chose to show up.

The following weekend was for me... a world changing event. Live 8! After finishing work having listened to it on the radio, I went home and watched into the early hours of the next morning, tears welling in my eyes on numerous occassions at the power of the "ONE". Something which is talked about many times in the CWG series of books by Neale Donald Walsch. That only mass consciousness will change how we live right now. Mass consciousness in its true essence spurred and nourished by love could bring about a new era of awakening for all. That if we just choose a different choice, together, as one, this would reflect back to us in rainbows of exquisite love. Done 20 years ago, and again 20 years later, a man motivated by this very love for his brothers and sisters all over the globe, his KNOWING that there is NO need nor reason for ANY SINGLE person to be without. He collected HIS army, armed only with the one thing that through the ages has brought comfort to the lonely, smiles to the downhearted, joy to the sad and tears to the fearless, the gift of music. The world stopped. The world listened. The world chanted in unison. One Thought. And it WASNT for the one as in oneself, it was for the ONE as in EVERY-ONE.

Then came the G8 summit, a time for those we have chosen to represent the ONE as in EVERY-ONE. An olympic bid for london to host the 2012 games, the euphoria of the british.

And then......

BANG!!!!!!!!!!!

Lives shattered!!!

Murder in the 'name of god'!!

Fuckin hell people!!! WTF was THAT for?!? Have we not yet learned the basics yet?!?!? Any cause motivated by hate can not possibly carry gods seal of approval (not that god/hashem/the universe/all that is/wotever floats ur boat has any preferences here) The point here is....when the fuck will we learn that in order have good in our lives....hate needs to be shown the door!

...oh and...dont let the door hit u on the way out!

*kicks the soapbox under the bed.....dusts hands..."there! I feel better now...how about u?"

Tia...

2005-06-25T23:18:00.000Z

I ask that you bear with me for a minute today.

I have recently learned from a very special and loyal client that her niece, whom she regards just as she does her own daughter, has a very trying and potentially sad time ahead of her.

It was explained to me that her niece's 2yr old daughter, Tia, had shown symptoms of a urinary tract infection when some blood spots were noticed in her nappy (diaper). Antibiotics were prescribed but when there seemed to be no improvement , she returned to the doctor who prescribed a different antibiotic.

Tia had a bad reaction to this which resulted in severe nappy rash, her mom not knowing which end was causing Tia to wince in pain every time she passed water. Was it the bleeding, cracked welts on her bottom? Or was the 'tract infection' still worrying her?

Following her instincts as a mother, she took Tia to the E.R. where she was told to "change Tia's nappy more frequently" (dont u just wanna slap them upside the friggin head?!?!) and given yet another course of antibiotics.

Tia's mom returned home and cried. At her wits end after 3 weeks of endurance put to the test. Her husband came home to find her devastated in her desperate plight to relieve her baby's obvious pain.

He called the hospital, insisting that they see a specialist .
Finally it was discovered that Tia has a cancerous tumour the size of an avocado growing in her bladder. Too large to be removed, she is undergoing heavy doses of chemo to try to reduce the size of the tumour, she has not eaten in 4 days, she is heavily medicated with morphine for the pain and is being kept sedated.

This is a real story of a baby girl who could die! Dont deny that the power of mass positive thought energy can have major impact on those its directed towards... indeed...its the only thing that ever does have impact.

I ask of you all now... To thank God, the universe and all that is for Tia's full, speedy and complete recovery! Thank God for the strength and healing energy her family have right now to aid her on her journey to recovery. Lastly, Thank God for every wonderful thing in your lives right now.

I ask each and every one of u lurkers out there to post a comment of positive healing energy in my comments section... lets create a miracle!!

Pic of baby Tia to follow ASAP.

2005-06-19T13:53:00.000Z

"SNOOTY AND SNOTE" Respec'!

Fathers Day

2005-06-19T12:56:00.000Z

One forgets all those special moments one shares with important people in our lives. Fathers day is one of those days which is there to remind us to re-member.

When I was a little girl, I remember sitting in his lap, he was such a big man and I felt so very safe and loved in his arms. He was my first port of call when I would wake...I remember seeing him sitting on the edge of his bed putting his socks on, I remember how he would roll each sock in his hands and then pull them over each foot, I remember his face would light up as I entered the room and his arms would reach out beckoning me to embrace him. My little arms would barely reach around his neck, he would lift me and put me into his spot on the bed, cover me over and begin counting my freckles...1...2...3...40...100....7million...and so on... sometimes he would say...pointing at each freckle in turn..."I love this one, and this one, and this and this and this and this one." Sometimes I would come in and he would say "Lets see if theres any new freckles today" and then he would welcome each new arrival with a kiss. (sometimes hundreds arrived all at the same time..;-) )

My abba was part of the underground movement in the 2nd world war after having escaped from a jewish labour camp by stabbing a guard with a fork. I remember he had shrapnel in his elbow which made it stick out. Food became a very important part of his life and he loved his food with the same passion that he loved everything else in his life.

Once, as an electrician by trade, he did a job for a swiss chocolate importer and instead of accepting a cash payment he agreed to a trade... a suitcase full of swiss chocolates. He proudly showed my mom his prize but she was annoyed with him as this meant that her diet would be ruined. So she told him that if he could spend that kind of money on chocolates...he could buy us a television! That night, we came home to find a brand spankin new telly in pride of place in our lounge, and my Abba.....Hiding behind the couch incase he got another bolloking from mom. In those days...there was very little on telly...mostly just test patterns....but hey...we had a telly.

I remember that my abba had very few enemies in life and that he always left a trail of love in his wake. I remember listening to "father dear father" on the radio with him every night and asking him if I could also call him "daddy" as they did in the story...and he could call me "cookie"

I remember the day that my abba left... I remember my moms devastation ... I remember the anger I felt when he didnt say good-bye ... I remember the emptiness that prevailed.

My Abba died 21 May 1976... I was 6 years old....

Today...I miss my Abba.

My Abba and me aged 18months

The cherry on top!

2005-06-17T22:21:00.000Z

After waiting for "aunt flo" to arrive for 6 days, my mind was stretched to untold limits of the reasons for her delay. The usual suspects ran amuck in my head... but having had 2 children, and comforted in the thoughts that both times I knew at conception that their arrival was immenent... it created a timebomb which seemed to grow in capacity as each day past her due date dawned.

I felt as mount versuvious must have days before her erruption. Hot molten lava bubbling vicariously just below my superficial surface.

As expected... the blast could not be contained any longer and all hell broke loose as I woke in the early hours, tummy cramps ripping through my body, head pounding with excrutiating release, my emotions in shreds, swinging from balanced to weepy to fury to clumsy to intense adoration for my family members to pure hatred...I was a mess!

I decided to treat myself to a bag of early season giant M&S (Marks & Spencer) cherries. Seeing as I am trying to lose some of the weight I managed to pick up in the quitting smoking feature... I thought..."ok they are £6.00 a bag (or thereabouts) but wot the fuck... go on... it will be nice to have something healthy but yummy to munch at work."

Following a "ding dong" with hot spunky wot I love so much hubby, I arrived at work and managed to get my first clients nails done, My second client was kept waiting a little while and mentioned she was hungry...so I offered her some of my scrumaliscios extreemely expensive cherries.

I opened the fridge to get the bag of cherries....

No cherries!!!!!

Wheres my cherries??!?!?!

I go ask the other members of staff....

My colleague ( I never know how to fuckin spell that word) gasps...

"omg Freddie...I thought they were bad and threw them in the bin"

Do u know... I suddenly understood how premenstrual women could resort to murder in a split second! I found myself fantasising ways of making her suffer excrutiating plagues upon her house.

"I just bought those fucking cherries yesterday!!!!!"

I am SO fuckin glad this day is drawing to a close... and... someone is GOING to die if my friggin cherries arent replaced! I WANT MY CHERRIESSSSSSSS!

Short lived

2005-06-13T08:26:00.000Z

Ah well...that was short lived...my claim to fame slipped through my fingers without even a passing glance. I wasnt even a one minute wonder...lol

I guess I will just have to wait till Sash becomes a famous singer for my day in the limelight. Why do they call it lime light anyway? I mean...if its anything like limescale....who the fuck wants it?!? Besides...green does nothing for my skin tone. Pah!

2005-06-04T16:42:00.000Z

I had a dream that I was in the big brother house...I know I know...sad! Ok so...I think I have a lot of shite to contribute and all that malarky....so...when I found this site....I thought...ah well....woteverrrrrrrr.

So...I nominated myself...cos...lets face it peeps...nobody else will....lol

secret post

2005-05-31T09:47:00.000Z

Just a quick one... I stumbled on to this blog which I think may well be bloggers best kept secret in more ways than one.

Check it out and let me know wot u think of it...

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

mantra

2005-05-29T21:38:00.000Z

I no longer have a shortage of good friends to share glorious days like this one...my new mantra.

We started our day with glorious sunshine which for this country is a rare commodity. Lawn mowing, ball playing, scooter scooting and just general sunny Sunday stuff.

We then decided... As you do... To have a braai (barbeque). Something us South Africans take great pride and joy in sharing with friends and family.

Then began a series of events which only serves to re-confirm the total awesome power of the universe.

I said to my totally sexy hot spunky wot I love so much hubby...that it saddened me a little that we hadn't yet formed the kind of friends that we could just call up and say "havin a braai...pull in!" And everyone would rock up... Drinks, stuff to braai, kids and huge smiles. The blokes standing round the fire, beers in hand, worshipping that which make raw meat cook (ooga ooga) each one adding their 2pence worth to the 'best braai in the world' process. The woman gatherers yapping in the kitchen, swapping age old recipes of really yummy salads, laying the table in preparation for the pending feast, all the while, keeping a third eye on the young'uns.

I miss that...

Anyhoo, I called mom, invited her round. Shortly after she arrived, the phone rang...

"hello..."
"howzit cuz..."
"howzit ... Um ... Who is this?"
"jussis... Is this how u greet all your friends ...(chuckle)"
"uhmmm....I dunno..?!?"

Turns out to be our personal guardian angel, her name... Shekkles. This wonderful person has always had an uncanny ability to just show up at the very moment that an angel was called upon in my life. And even though she was all the way in Cape Town South Africa... She heard my plea, we spent an hour and a half chatting on the phone like she was just next door and we had seen each other yesterday... Not 5 year's ago.

Bless you old friend. I thank you for responding so promptly to the universe’s call…and I thank G-d for the abundance that I sometimes forget I have in my life.

Today was a day of total abundance, in far more ways than I expected.

2005-05-22T20:37:00.000Z

sorry its so fuzzy but a set of nails I was very proud of... done with real pressed flowers set into the gel. exquisite!

2005-05-22T20:32:00.000Z

I have TULIPS growing in MY garden!!

2005-05-22T20:30:00.001Z

lounge and dining in one pic...kinda

2005-05-22T20:30:00.000Z

different view of lilac lounge

2005-05-22T20:29:00.000Z

baz in our lilac lounge

2005-05-22T20:28:00.000Z

our lilac lounge

2005-05-22T20:27:00.000Z

my widdle dining woom

Farewell

2005-05-19T22:35:00.000Z

Whenever I heard this song...you were the one person who came to mind.... "did you think I would leave you dying when theres room on my horse for two... climb up here, dont be crying I can go just as fast with two..."

no more....no more.....

Something happened a few weeks ago that has left me reeling in the aftermath. I came face to face with the reality that a huge part of my life had come to an abrupt close.

A person who had played an enormous role in my growing and adult years, someone whom I believed to be one of the most important people in my life, and by his own admission, I was the same to him.

I loved this man so much, I gave him the prestigious privilege of being the godfather to my two precious children. I did this, as I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving of this honour. I believed he would love them as his own. I believed he would love them as he loved me... as I loved him.

We were connected on so many levels, spiritually, emotionally, soulfully...and every other ...ly. So much so that when I was due to deliver my first-born, and he was living in London... We were so cosmically connected that although I had no idea he intended to surprise me with his early arrival... And I had gone into a 2-week early labour... Baby refused to enter the world till I saw his boots behind the curtain and burst into tears cos I totally knew it was him (arriving straight from the airport) and only then... 36 hours later... An angel was born.

We were that close that anyone entering our bubble would be summarily informed...love me...love my cuz! Package deal!

Things changed, he married, his priorities changed, as they should. But something was never quite right after that, was it jealousy on her part or mine? We will never know. All I know is that slowly and surely she drew her plans. No matter how hard I tried, regardless of how many tears I cried, the greater became the divide between us.

Finally after 8 years of acceptance, tolerance and unconditional love for him, his wife and his children, his complete lack of a backbone to stand up to his overbearing, controlling and sometimes even methodically vindictive viper... his refusal to give a continental fuck about my feelings...even when I reached out, crying in pain…he wouldn’t even piss on me if I were on fire!!
I allowed him to stomp, squish and obliterate the love I so desperately wanted to share with him… and his children.

FOR THE VERY LAST TIME EVER!!!!

So... Farewell, I will always love u, I will always love your children, but I will never ever give you permission to abuse me again. I deserve better than that....nay... I command and demand better than that. As long as u continue to deny yourself of who you truly are, as long as you think you can justify your actions, and in many cases, your complete lack of actions toward me and my family... You shall not exist for me.
I mourn your loss, my loss, our children’s loss, our whole family's loss, our mother's loss... I cannot change how it has become... I can only embrace how it is... And remember how it was.

The Brick!

2005-04-19T22:29:00.000Z

Got this in an email...and.... with it being my brothers birthday today....I kinda felt like... I had just had a brick hurled at me! So here it is for all to see....

A young and successful executive was travelling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar.
He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.
As his car passed, no children appeared.
Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.
The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you?
Just what the heck are! you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic.
"Please, mister..please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded.
I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car.
"It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts.
A quick look told him everything was going to be okay..
Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"
God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us.
It's our choice to listen or not.

Happy Birthday Bro

2005-04-19T21:49:00.000Z

Today... is the birthday of a very significant person in my life...

This person, was there... when I was born, he was there as I learned how to sit on my own, he was there applauding me as I learned to walk and he has been there pretty much all the way through my growing years.

This guy became my hero, from the day I first laid eyes on him. He was the most handsome, the smartest, the funniest, the coolest and badest man in the whole damn town.... badder than ol king kong...meaner than a junk yard dog! (sorry, just couldnt help breaking into song there...lol)

Anyhoo.... I remember one time... he was a jewellers apprentice...and with the remnants of gold he had collected over a period of time.... he had created a little diddy pinky ring which.... I am pretty sure he had made with love for his childhood crush... Monica.... but he brought it out to show mom and I....and....well...I fell instantly in love with his creation.... so much so...that I could barely contain my excitement.

"OMG its exquisite!!! I love it!!! How'd u make it?!!! Who's it for?!?!"

To this day I will never forget the look on my big brothers face...it was one of pride, guilt, love all at the same time. He had done a really good job, made it for someone else, couldnt bear to tell me it wasnt for me, simultaneously couldnt think of someone he loved more than his kid sis, he said....

"Its for you my baby, I made it for you!"

We live so far apart now, our lives so very different. Our children growing up never knowing just how special we were to one another once apon a time. We speak to each other maybe on our birthdays, but very little apart from that. U busy, Im busy, lifes hectic, blah blah blah!

I fuckin miss u D! I hope you had a wonderful birthday....lets just hope nobody has to throw a brick at ur car!....I love you.... duo maxi zoon dweebie!

Corn on the Cob'ometer

2005-04-18T21:34:00.000Z

*note....South africans call a Corn on the cob...a mielie just so u know...lol

I was munching methodically on a mielie last night... and I began to wonder....does everyone eat a mielie the same way I do??

Theres the....horizontal mielie muncher (HMM), which means u eat it from the left to the right.
Theres the.... vertical mielie muncher (VMM), which means u eat it all the way round before moving to the next section.
Then theres the... haphazard mielie muncher (HapMM), this one speaks for itself... u dont even look where ur mouth is as long as it meets the mielie half way ur good.
I wonder if there are any other types of Mielie munchers out there....?

I do believe that one could even assess a persons character by the corn on the cob o'meter... for example... the HMM would be a meticulous person, perhaps with a slight OCD tendency. HMM would need to be in control of most situations and probably drive their family mad in the process.

The VMM could possibly suffer from a similar pattern although...I do believe they would make groovy crap craft and have a flair for turning their eyelids inside out.

The HapMM would be completely brain dead and holding a conversation with them whilst eating would risk losing small appendages in the frenzy. These sad individuals are best abandoned when feeding as the glazed over glare can inflict a slurred speech impediment on the onlooker.

So.....which one are u? Better yet....which one do u think I am...hehe

Healthy nutritious food

2005-04-18T21:10:00.000Z

I tell u this....Danny is going thru a VERY funny stage at the moment. Not funny strange...funny HAHA!

I have a constant and consistent battle with my son to eat healthy and nutritious food. Yesterday was one of those days when I was determined to see him eat something that didnt have more E numbers in it than actual food substance. The conversation went something like this....

Dan: Im hungry!
Me: Ok, wot would u like to eat?
Dan: Can we maybe go to KFC? or.... Burger King? (hopefull little glint in eye)
Me: yea right pal! Not happening!!
Dan: Then wot can I eat?
Me: how about some tuna salad?
Dan: I hate tuna salad
Me: How do you know? You have never tried it?
Dan: I just know I hate it!
Me: Ok..how about I warm up some chicken or I have made some chicken mayo...want me to put some on a plate?
Dan: Blech! I hate that!
Me: Then have some meilie (corn on the cob....see corn on the cob'ometer post)
Dan: I hate Mielies!
Me: Ok..then dont eat!
Dan: Why cant I have something I like?!?
Me: because... everything u like isnt very healthy and nutritious!
Dan: I have a headache
Me: do you know why u have a headache?
Dan: no...why?
Me: cos u dont eat enough healthy nutritious food!
Dan: I hate healthy food
Me: I know, but your body is telling u that it needs some healthy food by giving u a headache.
Dan: ok shaddup now u givin me a headache!
Me: Im sorry babe, do u know WHY ur getting a headache?
Dan: No...why?
Me: Because, your body needs healthy food! Its hungry and doesnt have enough energy to stop a headache from coming.
Dan: Im tired of listening to this
Me: do u know WHY ur tired?
Dan: no...why?
Me: (craking up by this point cos he is STILL biting!) Because your body needs healthy nutritious food....thats why!
Dan: ur NOT listening to me...YOURE giving me a headache!!
Me: I am listening...do u know WHY ur getting a headache tho...

Dan: BECAUSE IM NOT EATING HEALTHY NUTRITIOUS FOOD! NOW STOP TALKING!!!!

bad day?

2005-04-14T22:38:00.000Z

Yesterday... I fetch Dan from school, and as I approach his class I see him standing there with a pouty face....I think to myself....uh oh....somebody's not a happy bunny!
"Hi Dan!" I say as I greet him... my arms outstretched...knowing that maybe a mommy shmoozy may make him feel better..."wots up?"

"I didnt have a very good day today!!" he grumbles.... "why? wot happened??" say I... "well... first of all....." he holds up his finger and shows me a tiny little injury... "second of all...." he shows me his wrist where there is a slight graze.... "THIRD of all....!" he lifts his shirt and shows me a graze on his hip. (by this time I am trying very hard not to laff )

Oh dear how did all that happen? He tells me his tale of woe..of how he ONLY did a GENTLE noogy on his friend...and his friend responded so violently by pushing him over... poor baby! My angel....who couldnt possibly have deserved such abhorent behaviour...yea right! Like i dont know how annoying my kid can be!

Anyhoo..to cut a long story short...and.....speaking of cutting.... later on in the day..... the kids were playing their fav game of......Dan annoys Sash, Sash tattle tells..... Mom screams at Dan...they both laff and start again. Sash came downstairs with Dan on her tail....she walking into the lounge and non chalantly..but very purposefully slamming the door behind her....and of course.....not even the millionth repetition of.."DONT SLAM THE DOORS!!!! FINGERS CAN GET CAUGHT!!!" just wasnt heard!

Dannys bad day came to a jarring halt!! Having almost taken the tip of his finger off in the door.... and blood pouring and tears streaming and pure agony... he manages to say... "NOW Im REALLY having a bad day! I wont even beable to go to school tomorrow!"

"uh...yea....u WILL be going to school tomorrow...nice try pal!"

"But, I wont beable to even write!"

"Dan, my love, u have hurt your RIGHT hand... you are left handed, you can still write"

(dont u just fuckin love this little okie!!!)

Oh I just HAVE to put this in.... when Sash was reprimanded for slamming the door.... her response was... "its not MY fault the door was so SHARP!!" aaaaaaaaahhahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Hope....

2005-04-08T18:25:00.000Z

A quick one... while its fresh in my mind. Baz was just flickin channels and turned over to the funeral ceremony and commented..." hey, wots this?" Daniels response to this was...

"It's the HOPE!"

All together now.....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Miss me?

2005-04-03T22:41:00.000Z

Its been a while since my last confession.... but I confess...It was me.... or in this case..it wasnt me! (May his passing carry the same impact his living had...only....better)

I havent posted in almost a month.... the sad individual that I am, I have gotten so wound up in real life issues and run of the mill stuff....that I have merely been feeding on those bloggers who by some modern day miracle ...find the time to post every day...sometimes even more than that.

So here I am....much has transpired in the past month, main events being....sharing Sashi's very first live concert.... an awesome experience for both of us.... Anastacia was no short of...spectacular, exquisite and inspiring.
A survivor of breast cancer, but even more than that, a tribute to women everywhere of the strength we possess not only as individuals but a group. I was glad to be a part of the growth that Sash experienced that day. We had gone with a lesbian couple and their daughter...who is also lesbian. She embraced the unusual with flair and grace. She shone so bright that even Anastacia noticed her glow from the stage and waved at her. (ok that sounds a bit OTT but who cares....I choose to believe it).

Life in our new home continues to give me a rush when I walk through the front door and go.... "Oh yea!! I have arrived!" Still loads to do...but as they say back in the ol mother land...'no rush in africa'.

I have completed one whole PATCH free week! This means I have not had a fag, ciggie, puff, smoke, rat, shmigg or any other pet name I developed over the years...for 11 weeks. Admittedly... it is getting easier as the days go by, and I find myself thinking about it less and less. I saved myself one last patch..like a security blanket of sorts... and everytime I have a craving....I remind myself that I have that patch if I need it. Works for me....shrug.

It was recently purim... the kids were dressing up for school, Danny wanted to go as SpongeBob SquarePants and he wanted me to buy him a suit... I suggested that we rather make one..cheaper and more fun ect... I said I would buy a whole load of sponges and stick them together to which he replied.... "mom, can you buy some extra sponges?" I say " sure, but why do u want extra sponges?" he says... "well, we can make the spongebob squarepants with the sponges, and if theres leftovers..... we can make a SPONGE CAKE!" I laugh saying u cant make sponge cake out of sponges...he replies... "yes u can! I have tasted it and its very nice!"

Oh and this morning, posty the postman arrived with a delivery of wonderful pressies sent all the way from New Joisey, my special friendy Dee never ceases to amaze me in her mad hectic life, she still made the time to send us a gift of love. Thank you broeks! Mwah!!

Last but not least... Barry decided to cut his hair....uh...sorry...cut is a bit of an understatement here.... u need to understand that my husband has always appeared to have the Samson syndrome... and would never cut his hair past a certain point, even though it has been thinning quite dramatically in the past few years. He cam downstairs the other day after having a go at his hair with an electric shaver.... I was like.... oh...my .....goooooooooooooooood!! WHAT HAPPENED?!?!??! Thinking this was some kind of accident. He is like... "WHAT???? dont u like it?!?"

OY!!!!!!!!!

We are on our way to a barbeque at Jane and Alans.... Im driving.... and every time I look at him...I begin to laugh silently...the tears streaming down my face.... I dont know how I didnt wrap my car round a tree.... it was THAT funny. Suffice to say I had to fix the botch job he had done when we got home that evening... I am slowly getting used to it....but it has taken some getting used to.... I have NEVER known Barry to have a shaved head before!! EVER!!! And you know something...he didnt lose his strength in the process... he merely became more streamlined!!

One more thing...ladies....if u fancy a 21st century trip down memory lane...u have GOT to check out THIS site.... of course...if u have daughters...this is one for t hem too..... but for the oldies....remember the days when a cut out paper doll and some cut out clothes meant hours of fantasy fun? Those were them days....sighhhhhhh.

2005-03-17T00:00:00.000Z

Sash and cousin Wayne's daughter Jade....CA...UTE!!!! (check the lilac suite peeps!! hehe)

Birthday Beauty

2005-03-16T23:26:00.000Z

To our darling Sash, 11 years have passed since we first layed eyes on your pink perfectly formed face. Since we first touched our lips on your forehead and felt the heat and life tingling its energy into our world. So many memories have been formed and engraved into our hearts since that day. And now you stand on the threshold of a whole new change, your body, your mind, your hormones, your soul, everything about you is about to electrify into action. Exciting and frightening all at the same time. We stand here beside you, our little snoo, embarking on this new journey with you.

Happy Birthday babe... cant wait to share the very first live concert....Anastacia....your Idol....with you on the 26th of March.

All my love
Mom

Words can never adequitly define the exquisite love I share with you. Happy 11th birthday Angel.

sins of the father

2005-03-06T23:22:00.000Z

Today I came face to face with a past which I keep very neatly packaged in a brown paper wrapping and stashed way at the back of my proverbial cupboard where one could almost forget it were there until something happens and suddenly you are face to face with the reality that was your experience way back then.

Im not in the habit of airing my dirty laundry but in light of todays experience I think on some level, I need to put it out there in the hopes that it will have some kind of emotional or soul cleansing properties to allow me to move on from this in a positive expression of who I am, but more importantly who I choose to be.

Danny was being silly and fooling about trying to get a rise out of his sister like he always does, he proceeded to pull his pants down and shake his bum at us to which we both in a non verbal way agreed not to respond to or encourage by laughing at him and so in a typically male manner he turned round to do the full monty scene for us, all the while pulling silly faces and hoping to get a laugh. Again we both blanked him as he wiggled his hips at us.

He then did something which made me lose all sense of sensibility... the reasons I will come to later, he grabbed his pip (aka penis) and attempted to touch Sash with it which was with out a doubt, gonna get a rise and did! She responded with "eeeyuuuwww" and I reached over and gave him a sharp spank on his bare bottom. I reprimanded him and warned him not to do that again, finally he had acheived what he had set out to do, and chuckled to himself which made me very angry. I dared him to do it again...showing him very clearly that we werent amused by his antics, nor was this behavior acceptable.

As my son always rises to a challenge he proceeded to test my peramenters and did it again and ran off as I chased him round the house, he laughing and me boiling mad. When I finally caught him I spanked him hard on his bottom! The instant humiliation I felt from him overwhelmed me. I had hurt his ego and his expression of budding manhood.

I know this was not by any stretch of the imagination, NOT the appropriate response for his behavior, nor do I condone his behavior but I began to analise why I had responded with such swift and brutal repulsion.

Heres where it gets messy... I wont mention names here but I had the misfortune as a young girl between the ages of 9 and 15, of having 2 very close family members, 2 family friends, 1 paedophile who I met at a local swimming bath and a guy I fancied all sexually abused me in varying degrees of severity.

I have managed to a certain degree to not allow this history to affect my everyday life, although if truth be known, it never really leaves my consciousness. Daniels actions today brought this all up for me in a huge way and I began to understand my earlier response, and suddenly I realised that my fear, not only for Sash, but any female to be subjected to what I was subjected to..... by MY son would devastate me beyond reason!

And in order to attempt a prevention of this ever occuring, I realised that I could be risking a normal developement of my son and perhaps be aid in creating a man with fetish requirements due to my actions when he was just at the exploratory stage.

I dont know if this is making any sense, but I needed to get it off my chest. I feel really guilty about my behavior as well as allowing my past to impact on not only my future but that of my prescious offspring.

If my kids are screwed up, I know its cos I couldnt keep a lid on MY shit!

when you hurt I hurt too...

2005-02-21T22:21:00.000Z

Yesterday it was Daniels long awaited swimming birthday party. The invites were sent out 3 weeks ago...one would think...sufficient time for a party?

Off we went, sandwiches for an expected 15 kids, crisps, sweets, party bags, cakes ect to the pool. Dan had been literally counting the days for this one, we got there a bit early as you do, in order to meet and greet ur guests....

We waited, Josh arrived with Alyx and Leigh, my cousins kids, we waited some more.... finally we realised, nobody was coming!

No, we hadnt got the wrong day, we hadnt got the wrong time, we hadnt sent the invites out too late, infact, we hadnt missed a thing.....but NOBODY came to my baby's birthday party except his cousins :-(

I cannot tell you how sore my heart is for this little boy who announced this morning that yesterday was the worst day in his whole life! I dont fuckin blame hime!

This is for all the peices of shit who thought themselves and their kids better than me and mine. If I could wish any bad to befall you.... it would be for u to each endure the pain you have just put me through...to see your child.... hurt...on his party... abandoned with no explaination.... left to blow out his candles alone, nobody to give his party bags which he packed all by himself. I would wish this apon each and every one of you....but I wont....because I would never want to see any child go through what you didnt give a continental fuck about putting my child through....but know this...from the core of my being....I hate you all!

To my baby boy who is now seven years old, you so didnt deserve this, you deserved to have your day celebrated and shared with those who are lucky enough to know your wonderful self. I love you so so so much my baby, you light up my days, you warm my soul, and you bring laughter to my heart. Happy birthday baby....mommy...x

IM BACK, IM IN AND IM CLEAN!

2005-02-11T23:09:00.000Z

Just a quickie....to update u all, I am back online, thank gawd!!

I am in our new house and fuckin lovin it!!!!

And finally, tomorrow will be ONE WHOLE SMOKE FREE MONTH!!!

Gonna be updatin on muh fav blog haunts and will return for a more in detail post later.

Just wanted to say thanks to all those who put a good word in for us in this whole process...you did good!

Moving day

2005-01-31T01:07:00.000Z

Well all....it has finally arrived.... we are hopefully completing the sale today around midday and will be moving in shortly thereafter.

We will finally join the elite group called...home owners! YAY US!

This will probably be my last post for a short while till I get my life back in some semblance of normality....but u will be pleased to know I have hit the 2 week mark smoke free!

Anyhoo...I am shattered so...its off to club duvet in this here RENTED accomodation for the VERY LAST TIME!

Toodles

60 million years ago

2005-01-28T23:00:00.000Z

Yesterday was the 60th anniversary of the Holocaust in which, amongst other races, creeds and colours, 6 million jews were put to death by Hitler and his band of merry men. Just so we get this into perspective here... the Earthquake and Tsunami have claimed approx. 250 000 lives, a natural disaster, mother nature shaking her formidable fist. Not that I am trying to belittle the enormity of this tragedy but.... S.I.X M.I.L.L.I.O.N MURDERS! Thats a lotta latkes!

Danny comes home yesterday from school, and says...mom, Im lighting a candle today, I say...what for? He replies, because a lot of people died 60 million years ago.

Ok...so he lights the candle.... we are watching telly.... we see him sitting cross legged infront of the burning candle, his hands facing up on his knees in a meditation position going....."hummmmmmmm.....huuummmmmmmmm" We quietly watch, he then gets up saying..."ugh it didnt work!" I say, wot were u trying to do? He replies....

"Go to another planet!"

*not a bad idea pal.... just make sure u call your mother when u get there*

Funny Bones

2005-01-22T21:30:00.002Z

Tonight we were on our way to TGI Fridays for a meal with the kids...I am driving, we pull up side another car with a young bloke and obviously his chick or someone he seriously wanted to impress. We wait for the lights to change, and as they do....so this kid practically does a wheelie to make sure he pulls off first.

I am joking around about him saying how he almost paniced at the thought of not being infront. I say something like..." he is like OMG I have to get past this person!!" Danny in the back packs up laughing....he obviously saw the humourous side of it and asks me to say it again....so I do... he laughs out loud again and says... "you see mom, now THATS why I love you.... I love funny things, and you are so funny!"

Oh my prince....you dont know the HALF of it pal!...HA!

CONTRACTS HAVE BEEN EXHANGED!

2005-01-22T21:30:00.001Z

Ok all....the moment we have all been waiting for....

Drum roll please........

We are FINALLY at the point of no return......

On Friday 21 January 2005.....

At 9:45 am

Contracts were exchanged on our house purchase!!

Completion takes place in T-minus 8 days and counting.

May I be the first to say.......

WHAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Days 5,6 and 7

2005-01-22T21:30:00.000Z

Just so u dont get to bored with the repetition... I thought I would start crammin a few days in. Infact...now that I have hit the BIG ONE WEEK mark. I will be only doing weekly updates on my attempt to quit the cancer stick.

I have to say that I am amazing myself every day that I go without a ciggie, and yes Tam... I bloody am still playing with labels....actually...its not labels anymore its ribbon... and it now has a name... my "gucci" blanket...dubbed thus by my wonderful brother in law David. (Barrys sister Tracey's hubby). I have to say...that it has certainly helped me get over the 'wot to do with my hands feature' which is great.

The bad news is...I am putting on weight....but I am not waivering, I know once I have mastered the smoke free zone...that my weight will be my next big....er.....did I say big?....well I didnt mean THAT big....I meant the other big...project of losing weight.

Slowly slowly... catch the monkey.

day 4

2005-01-19T18:56:00.000Z

Started out feeling pretty strong after a good nights sleep last night. I decided to remove the patch before going to sleep and it certainly helped me get a good nights rest in.

However this was to be short lived when I started receiving phone calls from the estate agents saying that if we dont exchange contracts tomorrow they are going to pull out.

Omg!! I seriously cannot go into it all over again here...suffice to say that I came [...] <~ this close to having a ciggie!! I have done everything but lick the kitchen sink to stop myself. I am sooooo stressed by this I cant tell u.

I havent even gotten to my hard time of the bloody day yet!!!

....help!

Note to self......

2005-01-19T17:56:00.000Z

NEVER TRY TO QUIT SMOKING WHILE IN PROCESS OF COMPLETING A HOUSE PURCHASE EVER AGAIN!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Day 3

2005-01-18T23:56:00.000Z

I have begun to discover that my toughest time is in the evenings, which makes sense when I think that during the day I am at work for the most part and cant smoke, so the amount I would smoke was fairly minimumal. But then I get home and boy do I make up for the loss....lol

I discovered that wearing the patch on the back of my shoulder....not so clever.... it seems I got too high a dose of nicotene at one point and boy....did I feel it!! I had the shakes and nausea for an hour!...

Apart from that..a good day

Day 2

2005-01-17T09:29:00.000Z

Well, they say the first 2 days are the hardest... so I can honestly say.... THANK GOD thats over with!!

Got off to a fairly good start... managed to curb the cravings for the better part of the day... cleaned, cooked, and played the efficient non smoking housewife!

And then trouble came home...in a strop... why are you making lasagne?! You KNOW I hate lasagne! Wot am I supposed to eat?!?

I had made a HUGE lasagne... which I dont make often because of his likes and dislikes...but I just couldnt face another spaghetti bolegnaisse... so I made my next best dish. Daniel refuses to eat, Barry refuses to eat, Sash has eaten at her friends house...and so...there I am.... tucking into my deliscious dish on my own thinking....

"wot the fuck did I fuckin waste my time making this fuckin food for if nobody fuckin eats it, well fuck em if they dont wanna eat wot I cook then they can all fuckin starve!"

You know wot guys...I love u....but I seriously CANT deal with this shit today! This was the point when I started walking in circles...ciggie, ciggie, ciggie, help, ciggie, i....need.....a......fuckin fag...NOW!!

I looked at Barry, my eyes presumably protruding from my head and my hair transformed into little hissing snakes...."u ok?" he said.....Um.... I am seriously NOT COPING right now!!

My rock sauntered his bright shiney coat of armour over to me, wrapped his strong warm arms around my frail and shaking body and whispered....

Its ok, youre ok, just hold on...you'll be ok. We're doing this!

And so ends the second smoke free day!