For the first time in all my parenting years, I have had the vile after-taste of that which we casually refer to as Peer Pressure.
This came in the form of the debatable "Batmitzvah" celebration. As Sash goes to a Jewish school, she is at the age where one is confronted with the question of...
Does a girl need a Batmitzvah party?
Firstly, allow me to acknowledge that my first born, turned a full dozen years old on the 7th March. She has blossomed into a young lady before our very eyes and yet, the child in her still shines through in moments of weakness. Its an age which I am finding personally to be quite the challenge, on the one hand...she demands more freedom and independance, but on the other hand... she still depends so greatly on others acknowledgement and acceptance. She has a heart brimming over with compassion, generosity and genuine affection but on the other hand, she exhibits typical teenage intolerance, demanding and unbearable arguementative laziness. (this of course is only ever for the 'toppies' (old parents) )
*hey, did any one pick up on the whole fiddler on the roof scenario there??...lol
Having said that, she is the best and most loyal friend anyone could possibly have. She glows with the illumination of angel light. Sadly, with all angels, there are those who's lights shine not as bright that want nothing better than to dull hers in order that theirs would shine brighter. Not knowing that it is in that very act that dims their luminescence even further.
Sash, one day when you read this, I hope and pray that if there is one thing that I can teach you in your life, that you may KNOW and pass to your loved ones as and when your paths cross...it is this....
The more love and positive energy you give freely to others, be they close or far, be they family or foes, be they friends or strangers, the brighter YOUR light will shine. It is human nature to be drawn to the light. It gives us warmth and comfort and joy. It is only those who want your light that will try to darken it my baby, for them, you must shine EXTRA bright for they need to be shown who they really are and how they can shine just as bright. Know that you are beautiful. Know that you are truly magnificent. Know yourself. Know that you will never NEED anyone, that they infact...need YOU. Like a lighthouse on a pitch black, stormy sea. Guide them to safe harbour if they choose to follow you, but never look back...those that choose to...will ALWAYS show up. Those that dont are still lost... and thats ok.
Back to the whole batmitzvah saga...without going into too much detail, through sash, I have been feeling quite overwhelmed by the "everyone is having one!" feature. I personally feel that it is something which is quite unnessesary for a girl, having said that...apparently....everyone IS having one...even those who had unequivicably said they would NOT be having one! The bitchiness that has been borne of this 'tsunami of must haves' has left me and my child and possibly others reeling in the aftermath.
She, finding it difficult as the fickle little bitches team up with those that are 'sharing' which...apparently...doubles as a licence to spew venoumous remarks and behaviour toward those not in the loop.
Me, gasping for air in the backwash, desperately trying to stay within a non existent budget (as it was agreed many years ago that we would rather spend the money on a trip to see our families in SA and NZ) But feeling totally inadequate as a parent and good jewish mother. Wanting to give her that which "everyone else is having" so she doesnt feel like the ONLY kid who doesnt have one. But also knowing that finances just wont allow for a "do" that "everyone else is having!" AAARGHHHH!!!
Do you see the peer pressure?!?!?! Can you feel my pain?!?! Hallooooo....frustration personified!!
Most people wish to win the lottery so that they can buy a nice house, go on a fancy holiday, get that dream car. Me?! I wish I could make my daughter a nice batmitzvah party, the likes of any other spoiled little brat in that school (just so she can fit in)...AND take her on a round trip to see her family that she hasnt seen since she was 7.
Finally... do you know why they say "blood is thicker than water"?
Apparently... it makes it easier to choke on!....HA!